David Lee

100 Days of Writing – Day Fifty-Two

Jersey swap,,,a college jersey and neat story.

I recently purchased a Lenoir-Rhyne University baseball jersey, one that was actually worn by a Bear baseball player. When attending the opening game of the football season with my wife, I decided to wear the jersey to support the home team.

While I was waiting in line for some pre-game concessions, a man comes up to me and remarked about how nice my jersey is. He then proposes that he would swap a jersey he had of the same design, but a different number. At first I thought he was kidding, but then it became apparent he truly wanted the jersey I had. He shared that when he played football for the university, #37 was the number that he wore. And 37 was the number on the jersey I had.

We arranged to meet during the coming week and he and I swapped jerseys. He now has the #37 jersey that means so much to him and I have #35, which I’m sure has a story to tell as well.

I like it when we have chance meetings with others. I have no doubt that I was supposed to buy that #37 Bears baseball jersey. I have no doubts that I was supposed to be wearing it that particular day and ran into Isaiah Whitaker. We’re now FB friends and have a jersey swap story to share for years to come.

David Lee

100 Days of Writing – Day Fifty-One

In a get-together of like-minded friends, we discussed resentment and the power it can have in all of our lives. And perhaps most importantly, how to rid ourselves of it.

Resentment is a feeling most all of us have had at some point-in-time,,,,or perhaps at many points in time. Someone has done something “to us,” or at least that’s our take on all of it. We then will continue to mull over the situation, asking ourselves why someone would do that to us and perhaps even plot on some type of revenge. But we can soon find out that all those ways of thinking can be a big waste of time.

When we are resentful against someone, we perceive that they should have done what they did. We calculate that we’ve been irreparably harmed in some way. We often times begin to feel sorry for ourselves.

In my way of thinking, people do their best at any point in their lives. Many times they don’t realize the effects that their choices and behaviors can have on others. As a result, sometimes other people can get hurt. The other person may not realize that they’ve hurt someone else, but the fact remains that something they’ve done or said has caused harm to someone.

I have learned through multiple experiences that holding resentment against someone is a huge waste of time. Resentments deal with something that has occurred in the past and of course, the past cannot be changed. To hold a grudge means that we’re living in the past, a past that is only lingering on because we’ve chosen not to give it up. It keeps us from living in the present moment and enjoying the lives we do have.

In the Bible, it tells us in Luke 23:34 that Jesus forgave those who were crucifying him with the words “Father, please forgive them, for they know not what they do.” I try to remember this when my mind wants to continue to be resentful against someone. I also remind myself that if I was in that same situation they found themselves, I might have done much the same, or worse.

Just for today, let me let go of those resentments that I have and lead a more fully-present life.

David Lee

100 Days of Writing – Day Fifty

Forty-eight days in and can still have that urge….

It’s been forty-eight days since I decided that I was going to quit smoking. It’s actually longer for that intention, but actually not smoking has been nearly seven weeks. And even now, after not having smoked 965 cigarettes, I can still get that urge. Twice I’ve nearly bought a pack, but am standing firm and “just saying no.”

I’ve identified the three reasons I smoked cigarettes,,,those were easy to identify. It’s a physical addiction to the nicotine and other chemicals in cigarettes. It’s a behavioral addiction, just something I did at certain times of day due it being a habit. And then there’s the emotional side; using smoking as a way to deal with difficult emotions.

On this forty-eighth day, I was dealing with some strong emotions and somewhere in my head, it had convinced me a cigarette would help relieve the stress. I knew where the purchase of a pack would likely lead, but those “voices in my head” kept telling me it would offer me some relief. But in between here and there, I didn’t follow through with those thoughts and was able to stop the overthinking before it led to a slip.

We all deal with the emotional ups and downs in life in different ways. We cope with uncomfortable feelings by seeking something out that offers relief. At one point in my life, I turned to alcohol to calm my thinking. But that got out of hand and I’m proud to say I haven’t had a drink in over twenty years. Smoking, however, has been much more difficult to stop. I had quit for four years at one time, but had started back up and despite multiple tries, hadn’t been able to quit.

This time, however, I am convinced that I’ll be able to stay quit for good. As my therapist told me, “That chapter of your life is over.” I know where smoking leads….I know where that inerrant thought of “I’ll just have two or three cigarettes and quit again.” will lead me. I’ve been there and tried to do that.

So for today, when emotional upsets occur, I will realize they are a part of living life and that I need to use the tools that I have to deal with them and not resort to thinking a cigarette would help matters in a manner, shape, or form. I’m thankful that I was able to play the tape forward today and use that as a way of staying free from nicotine for that moment in time.

Perhaps it’s appropriate that this is the entry for my fiftieth day of writing,,,the half-way point of one hundred days of writing. One of things I’ve found helpful with lots of what happens in life is to write about it and share with others. And while I don’t know if it is of help to anyone else who’s struggling with things in their lives, I at least know for this day, it’s helped return me to some level of sanity. And that’s a good feeling.

David Lee

100 Days of Writing – Day Forty-Nine

The first day of school for students is officially in the books,,,,year forty-two for me. Things went smoothly today. There were a few glitches, but nothing unexpected. With so many students to serve, there were a few schedule quirks we had to deal with, but nothing major.

The first day of school always brings up a few butterflies. The “great unknown” of what the new school year will bring and what each of your classes will be like. But it’s all a part of anything new in life and I’m convinced it’s going to be smooth sailing for the remainder of my interim position.

My schedule is a good one. After homeroom, I have three science classes, each an hour in length. The students then spend ninety minutes in their rotation classes, which is a planning period for me. After their rotation classes are done, we then take them to lunch. That is followed up by the last of my four science classes before we dismiss for the day.

Perhaps the highlight of the day for me occurred when I had a chance to see some of my students from last year. They are seventh graders this year and acclimating themselves to a new school setting. I’m hoping that seeing a familiar face helped make their day a bit brighter.

Day one of the school year down, quite a few more to be had. I’m glad I took this interim position and just like most of the rest, will find it difficult to leave when my time is up. But such is the life of the interim teacher.

David Lee

100 Days of Writing – Day Forty-Eight

So many things we can become addicted to,,,,but why?

I was talking with a friend last night about my continuing quest to be a non-smoker, lamenting how difficult some parts of the journey had been. She was tackling a similar issue with certain types of food she had been avoiding, for about the same length of time. Upon reflection, I was reminded we all can become addicted to a wide variety of things and the basic question is why?

A big part of addiction, at least it seems to me, is based in the fact we deal with uncomfortable feelings on a daily basis. Sometimes the feelings are more numerous than others. But the bottom line becomes, “I don’t want to feel this way. I want some relief.” Somewhere along that path, we find some substance that helps turn down the volume on those not-so-good feelings and that seems to be a good thing. If those same bad feelings return, we tend to go back to what it was that brought us relief before. And, at least for the time, it seems to work again.

As time continues, we can find that we’ve developed a tolerance to whatever it is we’re using to ease our anxious thoughts. The simple solution seems to be to take more of what was helping us cope. This spiraling behavior can leave us wanting more and more of whatever that substance might be, and our body develops a tolerance that leaves us back at square one each time.

Chemical substances, such as alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, and the like seem to be the most common vices people use to deal with unwanted feelings. But from last evening’s conversation, I’ve been reminded there are other ways people deal with their emotions, including eating, shopping, gambling, and the like. It would seem that we all can become addicted to things in the outside world as a result of trying to cope with life on life’s terms.

Just for today, I’ll look at my behaviors and ask myself if there are any bad habits/addictions I need to deal with on a daily basis. I’ll also ask myself what good habits I can use to combat these negative behaviors. It’s definitely an inside job.

100 Days of Writing – Day Forty-Seven

The first week of the 2022-23 school year is over and done for the forty-two year teaching veteran. I’ve had four workdays and am looking forward to the first day with students this upcoming Monday.

Some people have the idea that teachers don’t have a whole lot to do with teacher workdays, but such is certainly not the case. There are so many of the nuts and bolts that need to be put together and adjusted during the short period of time before the school year starts.

Some of the basics for the teacher workdays before school starts:

Daily schedule for each day
List of class rosters for each period
Coordination with your team of teachers to make sure all areas are covered
Classroom decor, including bulletin boards and the like
Class seating chart for each of your classes, including a card for each desk that tells who is supposed to sit where
Open house for parents and students
Opening faculty meeting, which lasts all one workday
Checking out all classroom technology to make sure it’s going to be working properly from day one
Meetings with other teachers in the school for students in their programs you’ll be serving

I know I’ve probably left quite a few things off the list, but this gives a basic idea of some of the things we have to have done before the first day of school. There are lots of little details that I’ve not included, like lunch times and the like, that are also very necessary to have a good start to the year.

I’m very much looking forward to the first day of school on Monday. I’m sure there will be a few blips on the screen as the first day transpires, but good preparation insures that those will hopefully be few and far between.

It’s going to be a good year to have a good school year.

David Lee

100 Days of Writing – Day Forty-Six

Random writing for today….

Three teacher workdays down, one to go. I’ve gotten a lot accomplished over the past several days. There are still a few loose ends to tie together, but no big deal. We do have an open house for parents and students tomorrow evening, so there’s that. I’m fairly certain it’ll be a good start to the new school year.

I was talking with friends last night and posed the question “What famous person have you met?” One of the group said when he was eleven years old he attended Harry Truman’s inaugural ball. Pretty hard to top that one.

I walked a little over a mile this morning during a break at school. It’s once again gotten a lot warmer and humid. But walking is something I know I want to continue once school is officially back in session.

37 days, 12 hours without a cigarette according to the QuitNow app on my phone. During that time, I’ve avoided 750 cigarettes, saved $218, and added 3 days to my expected life span. I’m still using nicotine lozenges, but have plans to start weaning myself off those starting on Monday of next week.

I’m covering another high school football game this Friday night. I’ll be at Newton Conover, as they take on West Caldwell.

David Lee

100 Days of Writing – Day Forty-Five

Smoking cessation – Day 36

I’m continuing on my quest to be a long-term nonsmoker. Today is day number thirty-six and although I’m still using nicotine lozenges, I haven’t found it necessary to light up a cigarette in five weeks.

I’m realizing there were distinct reasons why I chose to smoke,,,up to a pack a day. First of all, nicotine is an addictive drug and there is that physical craving to keep it in my system. The nicotine replacement that I get through the lozenges has helped squelch these cravings and my eventual goal is to not have to use those to do so. It’s definitely one day at a time in that respect.

Another reason that I continued to smoke for so long, even when I knew it wasn’t good for me, was that it was a habit. It was something that I did at specific times of day and after certain activities. I would always have a couple of cigarettes upon first waking in the morning. A friend explained my body was going through withdrawals since I had been sleeping and that’s why the urges were so strong. After meals was another time that I would almost always feel the need to have at least one cigarette. Then of course, before I went to bed I would have at least one because I knew I wouldn’t have one for at least six hours or more.

The final reason I chose to smoke is for psychological/emotional/mental release. If I became anxious or nervous at any point during the day, I somehow felt that smoking cigarettes would help calm my nerves. And even though nicotine is a stimulant, my brain felt at least partial relief from my worries. The only problem with this way of viewing things is that it may have been a very short-term fix, but the anxious thoughts would return soon thereafter. The only way I figured to help with those returning anxieties was to light up yet another. Needless to say, long-term this was not a good solution to my mind’s way of thinking.

So five weeks into my latest attempt to stop smoking, I’ve learned to examine my thoughts and do something constructive to help squash them. I’ve started diverting my thinking to something more productive, doing some activity (change a thought, move a muscle type deal), talk over my cravings with someone, and try to use all my tools to slow down my thinking.

It’s still one day at a time. My QuitNow app tells me that I’ve avoided smoking 728 cigarettes and that’s really mind-blowing. You don’t realize how much you smoke cumulatively when you’re just smoking them one at a time. May the odds continue to be in my favor as I continue this happy road.

David Lee

100 Days of Writing – Day Forty-Four

Year forty-two of teaching….teacher workday number one

Today was my first day back in the classroom to begin my forty-second year in the teaching profession. I’m going to be doing a maternity leave interim for the first eight weeks of the school year and today was our first teacher workday. I got a lot accomplished and am looking forward to the first day with students one week from today.

I was able to access my class lists and proceeded to make seating charts for each of the five groups of students I’ll have during the day. This is something that takes a bit of time, but from my perspective, is one of the most important tasks to complete before school starts.

I was also able to get access to my classroom desktop computer and all the apps I’ll need to use for instruction. Perhaps even more importantly, I was able to print from my desktop to the school copier, as well as make copies in the traditional fashion. Sometimes it’s the little things that mean the most.

We also met with one of our guidance counselors and went over some of the modifications we’ll need to make for some of our students. We also went over some of the safety precautions that are in place to keep our school a safe environment for all. With the recent incidents involving school shootings, there’s an increased emphasis on this particular part of the school setting.

I will be decorating some in the classroom tomorrow and we also have our beginning of the year faculty meeting to attend as well. It was good to see so many former co-workers and meet some new people as well. And to top it all off, we got a special treat of free caramel corn from a retired school system employee who knows the importance of getting the year off to a sweet start.

Three more workdays this week and then one week from today, the students return! Indeed an exciting time for all.

David Lee

100 Days of Writing – Day Forty-Three

Continued absitenence from smoking and a close call….

Thirty-four days, six hours, thirty minutes….that’s how long it’s been since I smoked my last cigarette. Even now, over a month later, I still have cravings and urges to have “just a smoke or two.” But I know full well where that will lead,,,a place I’m not interested in going. It’s still one day at a time, sometimes one minute or hour at a time. But I’ve got this!

This morning, on my way to run some errands, I had the overwhelming urge to have a cigarette. There were several triggers that had popped up yesterday and today and I went so far as to stop at one of the convenience stores I many times frequented to buy a pack. I got a diet soda and strolled up to the cash register with the intention of buying a pack. But I was able to use the skills I have learned on this journey and didn’t buy any and at this hour, am still smoke-free for today.

I know one of the key reasons I continued to smoke for so long is that I had the perception it helped me cope with anxiety and stress. Those were both present this morning and I started to resort to an old and unhealthy way to handle those feelings. Perhaps it was fate or Divine providence, but as I thought it through, I decided not to act on that compulsion. I know to keep my ego in check through all of this, but I can say I’m proud of myself for not lighting up.

I know as the school year starts back, there will be a lot more instances where my thoughts and feelings can try to get the better of me and this urge/compulsion/obsession may very well show up again. But I can use today’s experience as another tool….that no matter how strong the urge may get, I don’t need to act on it.

David Lee