David Lee

There are times in all of our lives where change is inevitable. In fact, I think it can be said the only constant in life IS change. And when change is occurring, many times fear can crop up along with it. A lot of the time fear is present in our lives, it’s because there are changes occurring, some foreseen and some unforeseen, that cause us to be unsure of what the future might hold.

When we are facing changes in our lives, no matter how big or small, it’s important to remember that fear is a natural response. Our brains can get used to life being some kind of way and when those “ways” are changing, when we can’t see a clear picture of what the future holds, fear is a natural response. It’s important to remember this.

Our minds can tend to go into fortune-telling mode when change is imminent. And much of the time, we forecast that the changes occurring are going to bring about hardship of some sort and that makes us feel uncomfortable. The fear we experience is not based on facts, since the future is yet unknown.

Many times changes are the result of the natural flow of life. If you had told me twenty years ago that I would be divorced and living on my own,,,,if you had shared that I would have left the place I had worked at most of my life,,,if you had told me any number of things that I would be getting ready to experience, I would have questioned your sanity. Yet here I am, with all those changes having taken place, and although my life is far from perfect, I like to think I’m doing pretty well.

I will also say that faith in a Divine source of strength is important as well. I know that much of what has transpired in my life isn’t anything I could have done under my own power. And the faith in God that I have had revealed has been of immeasurable importance. A relationship with a Higher Power has been the biggest positive change I have experienced, and for that I am eternally grateful.

So when changes are occurring in our lives, which they will, it’s important to remember that the fears that arise are natural. And we can continue to take steps forward into the change despite the fears we are experiencing. I need to remember that “all things can work together for good” in the bigger picture of things and that I need to trust the process and have faith that the journey is leading to a better place, whether or not it’s evident at the time.

David Lee

I’ve recently done some soul searching and in the process, have read something about being authentic with others, an area I will admit I’ve struggled with in the past. I make these notes to myself and think perhaps others will connect with them as well.

“To be authentic,,,What does that mean?”

• Never listen to anybody, what they tell you to be. Always listen to your inner voice, what you would like to be. Otherwise, your life will be wasted.
• Never wear a mask. Feel what you are going to feel and don’t feel the need to hide your feelings from others.
• Always remain in the present because all falseness enters from the past or from the future.

My Reflections…

Premise 1 – We are in need of learning about ourselves the best we can. I think we have a tendency to look outside ourselves to give our lives meaning. And then fact of the matter is that nothing “out there” is going to tell us what we need to know about ourselves. Other people can tell me what they think of me and my decisions in life, but ultimately I must find out for myself what it is that I’m all about. And besides, what other people think of me really isn’t any of my business.

Premise 2- I tend to be a people pleaser most of the time. I want others to be happy and enjoy my presence. So many times, I step outside of myself and my wishes and desires to make others happy. In the process, I lose a part of myself. And while I like to see others be happy, I also have to consider my own happiness. The difficult part is that many times I don’t realize that’s what I’m doing at the time. Sure there is some give and take in life, but ultimately honesty with others is of utmost importance.

Premise 3 – When I dwell too much with what has transpired in the past, I am living mostly in regret and resentment. My thoughts can tell me that past history is going to repeat itself and I take them at their word. In reality, the present is not the past. People change….and in some cases, it’s not even the same people from the past that we’re talking about. When I dwell too much in the future, I’m living in fear. Fear of the “what-ifs” in life can rob me of enjoying the present moment. So just for today, let me keep my head and heart and feet in the same place. One. day. at. a. time.

David Lee

There are those days when everything would seem to not be going as you’d like it to and there doesn’t appear to be any way to do anything about it all. One can let the heaviness of the day weigh him/her down, sinking ever lower in the stream of life.

The main question that has to be answered is, “What do I do when that’s what’s going on with me?” Am I going to resign myself to the feelings I’m having or do something to try and snap out of it? I have, in the past, chosen to do both those and it would seem the better choice is to do something different and not let the negativity ruin the whole day.

Today was one such day for me and although I can’t pinpoint why the day seemed to transpire that way, it was definitely not a stellar day. So instead of staying sequestered at home, I got out and about and that seemed to be of help. I have found that being around other people, even if I’m not interacting with them directly, can help get me out of the doldrums.

I had the chance this weekend to see most of my family members and being around them offered one solution. I went with my son and grandson, as well as my son’s girlfriend and her daughter out to eat on Friday night. Today, I went to have lunch with my parents and then ordered out pizza and salad to have supper with my daughter. Although there are still some ruminating negative thoughts, I found that those three choices to do something different helped immensely.

So just for today, when I find myself in a seemingly dark place in life, I chose to be around others and enjoy the company of family. Who knows what tomorrow might hold? But I learned over the course of these past several days, I can do something different and get a tangible, hopefully lasting result.

David Lee