Ain’t Nobody…

Verse 1]
Captured effortlessly
That’s the way it was
Happened so naturally
I did not know it was love
The next thing I felt was you
Holding me close
What was I gonna do?
I let myself go

[Refrain]
And now we’re flyin’ through the stars
I hope this night will last forever

[Verse 2]
I’ve been waitin’ for you
It’s been so long
I knew just what I would do
When I heard your song
You filled my heart with a kiss
Ya gave me freedom
You knew I could not resist
I needed someone

[Refrain]
And now we’re flyin’ through the stars
I hope this night will last forever
Oh oh oh oh

Navigating Dating Websites…

In an effort to try to find someone to meet in the realm of dating and such, I’m giving another trying to a dating website. I’ve tried several in the seventeen-plus years I’ve been divorced and in fact got my first post-marriage date on one. But by virtue of the fact I’m still single, let’s just say they haven’t worked as well as I might have liked. Given my current status and realizing I had to put forth some effort, I’ve gotten a paid membership on Match.com. In the short period of time I’ve been on there, I have remembered some of the ins and outs of internet dating.

  • Dating websites definitely have an upside- you have a chance to meet people you wouldn’t ordinarily have an opportunity to meet. You are also “available” 24/7 to anyone who might be in the market. The one downside that I’ve noticed in this realm is that many of the potential dates are farther away than either of us would be willing to travel.
  • Dating websites contain a lot of profiles of users, including those who don’t have paid memberships and can’t really communicate with you. There are also those who completed a profile and are no longer visiting the site. I supposed they didn’t have much luck and had forgotten to hide or delete their profiles. I believe those people still show up in your searches and attempting to communicate with them, of course, is fruitless.
  • Most of the people I have an interest in initially don’t seem to have an interest in me….Most of the people who express an interest in me, I’m not having the mutual feeling.
  • If you do find someone who communicates, it’s usually very slow and cumbersome. You both have to be on the site at the same time to have anything close to a meaningful conversation. And I’ve also learned that most women aren’t willing to share their phone numbers to make communication easier. I understand why they might be hesitant to do so, but still….
  • I think some of those on the sites aren’t really all that interested in actually meeting someone and get together. Perhaps they’re just doing it to have something to do, I’m not sure.
  • My chances of meeting someone to get together with or ever having a chance to get to know on a more personal level seems to be slim. The pandemic doesn’t make things any easier. Usually the conversation in emails last for several days and then dies out because of lack of interest. I try to be a frequent communicator, but when the responses are slow to come about, my interest starts to wane.

I have a membership of several months and will make use of it, but am realistic and know that nothing meaningful might come from it. I am sincerely hoping I’m wrong, but I don’t think so at this point.

And then again, “the one” might just be on those pages of pictures I look at and we just haven’t found each other yet…one can only hope.

David Lee

Reach Out I’ll Be There…

“Reach Out I’ll Be There”

Now if you feel that you can’t go on (can’t go on)
Because all of your hope is gone (all your hope is gone)
And your life is filled with much confusion (much confusion)
Until happiness is just an illusion (happiness is just an illusion)
And your world around is crumbling down, darlin’

(Reach out) Come on girl reach on out for me
(Reach out) Reach out for me
Hah, I’ll be there with a love that will shelter you
I’ll be there with a love that will see you through

When you feel lost and about to give up (to give up)
‘Cause your best just ain’t good enough (just ain’t good enough)
And your feel the world has grown cold (has grown cold)
And your drifting out all on your own (drifting out on your own)
And you need a hand to hold, darlin’

(Reach out) Come on girl, reach out for me
(Reach out) Reach out for me
Hah, I’ll be there to love and comfort you
And I’ll be there to cherish and care for you

(I’ll be there to always see you through)
(I’ll be there to love and comfort you)

I can tell the way you hang your head (hang your head)
You’re not in love now, now you’re afraid (you’re afraid)
And through your tears you look around (look around)
But there’s no peace of mind to be found (no peace of mind to be found)
I know what your thinking
You’re a loner, no love of your own, but darling

(Reach out) Come on girl reach out for me
Reach out, just look over your shoulder
I’ll be there to give you all the love you need
And I’ll be there you can always depend on me
I’ll be there

Six Feet Under…

Billie Eilish Lyrics

“Six Feet Under”

“Six Feet Under”

Help, I lost myself again
But I remember you
Don’t come back, it won’t end well
But I wish you’d tell me too

Our love is six feet under
I can’t help but wonder
If our grave was watered by the rain
Would roses bloom?
Could roses bloom
Again?

Retrace my lips
Erase your touch
It’s all too much for me
Blow away
Like smoke in air
How can you die carelessly?

Our love is six feet under
I can’t help but wonder
If our grave was watered by the rain
Would roses bloom?
Could roses bloom?

They’re playing our sound
Laying us down tonight
And all of these clouds
Crying us back to life
But you’re cold as a knife

Six feet under
I can’t help but wonder
If our grave was watered by the rain
Bloom
Bloom

Again

Help, I lost myself again
But I remember you

Getting My Act Together

The past three months have been anything but easy. I had settled in to teach for the rest of the school year when the pandemic hit and along with that, having to learn how to teach remotely on the fly. I was fortunate to have two co-teachers that excelled at this monumental undertaking and that helped immensely. A couple of weeks ago saw an end to this interim gig, however, and the summer began.

There are lot of things that I’d normally be doing that are no longer options. I’d undoubtedly be spend a part of my time at the Barnes & Noble Cafe’, my home away from home, but it’s not been reopened for seating. I usually would go out to eat at least once a day and although some of the venues have reopened, I’ve mainly done pick-up or more recently, had it delivered. I resigned my post as a photographer for the local newspaper, so that’s not anything that gets me out and about and moving.

Perhaps the most difficult part of it all has been the loneliness that has set in here of late. It’s a deep-seeded feeling, especially at night, that finds that desire for human contact once again unfulfilled. As an effort to fill this void, I’ve even this week gotten memberships in a couple of dating websites, but thus far that really hasn’t led to much.

I know in recovery not to run from my emotions and feelings. This past week, I seem to have gotten stuck in that feeling of loneliness and know I need to work through it, but am not sure exactly how to go about doing that. I’ve reached out to several friends along the way and they’ve offered me support, but the fact remains the feeling lingers.

I lead an online recovery meeting once a week and brought this up as a topic one evening. I heard a lot of good experience, strength, and hope and quite a few of the members thanked me for addressing the topic that you don’t hear talked about too often in meetings. So I had done what I knew to do,,,,to reach out and to be of service…and wouldn’t you know after that meeting, I felt more alone and lonely than I did at any point.

So I’l continue to trudge along, accepting my feelings for what they are. I’ll still make efforts to reach out, but know in my heart that if the loneliness is to subside, I’ll have to stay the course I’m currently on. A lot of what I know is what NOT to do…I’m pretty familiar with all that.

So I guide my thoughts this day to happier times in my life and will put my intentions out into the universe that my loneliness, in all its many forms, will subside when it’s run it’s course.

David Lee

Been a While…

Once again, it’s been a while since I’ve done any blog entries. And so on this early rainy Friday morning, I thought I’d put some of thoughts down to share.

Certainly a crazy world we’re living in here of late. Not only are we in the midst of a pandemic, but it’s also become a political debate of sorts as well. A lot of folks it would seem are throwing any scientific evidence out the window and have started going about their business as if the virus is over with and done. And according to what I’ve read and researched, nothing could be further from the truth.

In addition to that situation, we’ve been dealing with a lot racial strife due to the actions of police officers in Minneapolis….lots of protests and outright rioting. There are perhaps some positive changes that are going to result from it all, but for right now it’s caused more division than anything.

So we are over half-way though June, with July knocking on the door, I realize that we’re going to be half-way through this year. A year to end all years it would seem. I definitely took a lot of the simpler things in life for granted, that I know. We can only hope that the second half of the year offers some resolution to the problems we’ve experienced during the first half.

On a personal level, it’s been more difficult this past week or so to deal with the isolation from others. I did go have lunch with my parents and daughter and that was nice. I’ve been making my every-other-day runs to get supplies at the store that’s just up the street. But I genuinely desire to have face-to-face contact with others, and that’s just not happened for me. And I don’t know that there’s a simple solution to that.

My latest attempt at initiating a relationship didn’t pan out as I had hoped and felt it would. I understand that others have their priorities in life and I have to be acceptive of that fact. I’ve reached another one of those times when I pretty much resign myself to the fact that this is just the way it’s supposed to be in my life at this point. But the loneliness seems to be a bit more difficult to deal with these past couple of weeks. I was leading a Zoom online recovery meeting and brought loneliness up as a topic. I heard lots of good experience, strength, and hope during the hour we met. But ironically, the end result at the conclusion of the meeting was that I felt more lonely than I did at the outset.

So as the rain pours and pours outside, as it has most of the week, I prepare to get some sleep and will be ready to start another day when daylight returns. Most of the time I don’t mind the rain, but we’ve had more than our fair share this week. Just one of those parts of life, as with most others things I’ve mentioned, that I don’t have any control over.

I’ll continue in the upcoming days to remember my mantra for this difficult time, “Keep the faith, trust the journey” and know that all will eventually one day be well. At some point, when we don’t know, the virus will be reduced to the point we can go about our more normal routines….Hopefully we will be able to withstand the conflicts of the past several weeks and begin to heal as a country….And I will definitely know that if a relationship is to be a part of my life, it will be and if not, then I’ll be okay with that as well.

Until next time,

David Lee

Wrapped Around Your Finger

Wrapped Around Your Finger

The Police

You consider me the young apprentice
Caught between the Scylla and Charibdes
Hypnotized by you if I should linger
Staring at the ring around your fingerI have only come here seeking knowledge
Things they would not teach me of in college
I can see the destiny you sold turned into a shining band of goldI’ll be wrapped around your finger
I’ll be wrapped around your finger
Mephistopheles is not your name
I know what you’re up to just the same
I will listen hard to your tuition
You will see it come to its fruition
I’ll be wrapped around your finger
I’ll be wrapped around your fingerDevil…

King of Pain…

[Verse 1]
There’s a little black spot on the sun today
It’s the same old thing as yesterday

There’s a black hat caught in a high tree top
There’s a flag pole rag and the wind won’t stop

[Chorus]
I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running ’round my brain
I guess I’m always hoping that you’ll end this reign
But it’s my destiny to be the king of pain

[Verse 1]
There’s a little black spot on the sun today
(That’s my soul up there)
It’s the same old thing as yesterday

(That’s my soul up there)
There’s a black hat caught in a high treetop
(That’s my soul up there)
There’s a flag pole rag and the wind won’t stop

(That’s my soul up there)

There’s a fossil that’s trapped in a high cliff wall
(That’s my soul up there)

I Wanna Know….

I Wanna Know

Joe

Yeah


Alright, oh, oh, ohIt’s amazing how you knock me off my feet, hm
Every time you come around me I get weak, oh yeah
Nobody ever made me feel this way, oh
You kiss my lips and then you take my breath away
So I want to knowI want to know what turns you on
I’d like to know (So I can be all that and more)
I’d like to know (I’d like to know what makes you cry)
So I can be the one who always makes you smileGirl he never understood what you were worth, hm no
And he never took the time to make it work
(You deserve more loving, girl)
Baby I’m the kind of man who shows concern, yes I do, oh
Anyway that I can please you let me learn
So I wanna knowI wanna know what turns you on
I wanna know (So I can be all that and more)
I’d like to (I’d like to know…

Never Have I Ever…

Never Have I Ever

Hillsong Young & Free

I was running wild, fell in love with the chase
I’ve been up and down and all over the place
Wasting all my days and nights
Never feeling satisfiedPutting on a smile, I was keeping it fake
But there’s no imitating what I’ve found in Your grace
All the things I left behind
Are shadows now I’ve seen the light (Let me hear ya)In my head and my soul
My heart, my all
I know that I know
Know, know, know (Come on Young & Free)Never, never have I ever
Ever found a love so good, so good
Never, never am I ever
Ever getting over living with You
Nothing will change it
All I can say is
Never, never have I ever
Ever found a love so good, so goodI’ve got a million reasons why I can’t be the same
You’ve got me looking forward, never turning my gaze
Forever, God, it’s You…