Change and Resulting Fear…

There are times in all of our lives where change is inevitable. In fact, I think it can be said the only constant in life IS change. And when change is occurring, many times fear can crop up along with it. A lot of the time fear is present in our lives, it’s because there are changes occurring, some foreseen and some unforeseen, that cause us to be unsure of what the future might hold.

When we are facing changes in our lives, no matter how big or small, it’s important to remember that fear is a natural response. Our brains can get used to life being some kind of way and when those “ways” are changing, when we can’t see a clear picture of what the future holds, fear is a natural response. It’s important to remember this.

Our minds can tend to go into fortune-telling mode when change is imminent. And much of the time, we forecast that the changes occurring are going to bring about hardship of some sort and that makes us feel uncomfortable. The fear we experience is not based on facts, since the future is yet unknown.

Many times changes are the result of the natural flow of life. If you had told me twenty years ago that I would be divorced and living on my own,,,,if you had shared that I would have left the place I had worked at most of my life,,,if you had told me any number of things that I would be getting ready to experience, I would have questioned your sanity. Yet here I am, with all those changes having taken place, and although my life is far from perfect, I like to think I’m doing pretty well.

I will also say that faith in a Divine source of strength is important as well. I know that much of what has transpired in my life isn’t anything I could have done under my own power. And the faith in God that I have had revealed has been of immeasurable importance. A relationship with a Higher Power has been the biggest positive change I have experienced, and for that I am eternally grateful.

So when changes are occurring in our lives, which they will, it’s important to remember that the fears that arise are natural. And we can continue to take steps forward into the change despite the fears we are experiencing. I need to remember that “all things can work together for good” in the bigger picture of things and that I need to trust the process and have faith that the journey is leading to a better place, whether or not it’s evident at the time.

David Lee

Intimacy…or lack thereof

I’ve recently done some soul searching and in the process, have read something about being authentic with others, an area I will admit I’ve struggled with in the past. I make these notes to myself and think perhaps others will connect with them as well.

“To be authentic,,,What does that mean?”

  • Never listen to anybody, what they tell you to be. Always listen to your inner voice, what you would like to be. Otherwise, your life will be wasted.
  • Never wear a mask. Feel what you are going to feel and don’t feel the need to hide your feelings from others.
  • Always remain in the present because all falseness enters from the past or from the future.

My Reflections…

Premise 1 – We are in need of learning about ourselves the best we can. I think we have a tendency to look outside ourselves to give our lives meaning. And then fact of the matter is that nothing “out there” is going to tell us what we need to know about ourselves. Other people can tell me what they think of me and my decisions in life, but ultimately I must find out for myself what it is that I’m all about. And besides, what other people think of me really isn’t any of my business.

Premise 2- I tend to be a people pleaser most of the time. I want others to be happy and enjoy my presence. So many times, I step outside of myself and my wishes and desires to make others happy. In the process, I lose a part of myself. And while I like to see others be happy, I also have to consider my own happiness. The difficult part is that many times I don’t realize that’s what I’m doing at the time. Sure there is some give and take in life, but ultimately honesty with others is of utmost importance.

Premise 3 – When I dwell too much with what has transpired in the past, I am living mostly in regret and resentment. My thoughts can tell me that past history is going to repeat itself and I take them at their word. In reality, the present is not the past. People change….and in some cases, it’s not even the same people from the past that we’re talking about. When I dwell too much in the future, I’m living in fear. Fear of the “what-ifs” in life can rob me of enjoying the present moment. So just for today, let me keep my head and heart and feet in the same place. One. day. at. a. time.

David Lee

There are those days….

There are those days when everything would seem to not be going as you’d like it to and there doesn’t appear to be any way to do anything about it all. One can let the heaviness of the day weigh him/her down, sinking ever lower in the stream of life.

The main question that has to be answered is, “What do I do when that’s what’s going on with me?” Am I going to resign myself to the feelings I’m having or do something to try and snap out of it? I have, in the past, chosen to do both those and it would seem the better choice is to do something different and not let the negativity ruin the whole day.

Today was one such day for me and although I can’t pinpoint why the day seemed to transpire that way, it was definitely not a stellar day. So instead of staying sequestered at home, I got out and about and that seemed to be of help. I have found that being around other people, even if I’m not interacting with them directly, can help get me out of the doldrums.

I had the chance this weekend to see most of my family members and being around them offered one solution. I went with my son and grandson, as well as my son’s girlfriend and her daughter out to eat on Friday night. Today, I went to have lunch with my parents and then ordered out pizza and salad to have supper with my daughter. Although there are still some ruminating negative thoughts, I found that those three choices to do something different helped immensely.

So just for today, when I find myself in a seemingly dark place in life, I chose to be around others and enjoy the company of family. Who knows what tomorrow might hold? But I learned over the course of these past several days, I can do something different and get a tangible, hopefully lasting result.

David Lee

Decisions and Reflection….

There have been those times in my life when I’ve made decisions that I thought were “right” at the time that I made them. And then, upon reflection, I pondered about whether or not those decisions were the “right” ones to make.

Recently I’ve been reflecting on several life choices that I’ve made and wondered whether or not I made the right choice. It certainly seemed that the decision was the right one at the time, but as I reflect on them, I can become confused as to why I did what I did.

Some decisions can be reversed, but in other cases, that is certainly not the case. Bridges have been burned that likely cannot be forged together again. And I’m left to wonder whether the previous decisions were life lessons to be learned for the long haul.

I think that everything happens for a reason and I suppose the most valuable lessons are learned that way. As I move forward, I must take into account my past actions, yet not dwell too long on them, for they cannot be changed. I only hope that I become a better version of who I was intended to be and do what’s best for all.

David Lee

Notes and Such for Wednesday, June 2nd, 2021

  • From today’s “Streams in the Desert” devotional: “The only way to learn faith is to endure great trials. I have learned my faith by standing firm amid severe testings. This is very true. The time to trust is when all else fails.”
  • Also from “Streams in the Desert” for today: ” Dear one, you scarcely realize the value of your present opportunity; if you are passing through great afflictions, you are in the very soul of the strongest faith, and if you will only let go, He will teach you in these hours the mightiest hold upon His throne which you can ever know. Great faith must have great trials”
  • I ordered something online over six weeks ago and just received it in the mail yesterday. The timing of its delivery was not by mere coincidence.
  • I pulled the #23 card yesterday from my “Enchanted Map” card deck: “Golden Palace” – Perhaps you’re entering a time of happiness that’s long overdue. The message here is that self-worth isn’t measured by what you have, no matter how abundant your life is. Instead, it comes from what you are, how authentically you’re living your life, and how much love you’re willing to share.
  • Today, I pulled the #18 card from my deck: “Magic Stream: – “Everything is connected through the universal flow of consciousness.” There are times where effort and sheer willpower will result in victory and celebration, but his isn’t one of them. You can’t force inspiration, and you can’t manufacture creativity, lest you borrow too heavily from other’s ideas. Neither can you make someone love you or orchestrate a series of events that might place you in a more favorable position. Now is the time to drop the “trying” and jump into the stream and float. Immerse yourself in the present moment with whatever is true for that moment. You’ll never step in the same river twice anyway.
  • I went out to eat for breakfast this morning and my ticket had a #23 sum – It gives me some hope amidst the presiding confusion in my life at this point.
  • Step Eleven – “Sought through prayer and meditation to increase our conscious contact with God, as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and power to carry that out.”

Thoughts on Divine Fate and Such…

  • Sometimes there are things that we don’t want to do, but end up doing them anyway….a part of Divine fate.
  • Sometimes unimaginable things happen…and they are a part of Divine faith as well.
  • All things can work together for good, even though we may never understand why they happened the way they did.
  • Things can get bizarre in life and it can be difficult not to get sidetracked.
  • Even detours are a part of our journey.
  • We each have a part, a role, to play in each other’s journeys,,,with or without our permission.
  • We are each here to both teach and learn life lessons.
  • Life lessons will keep turning up in various forms until we’ve learned what we’re supposed to learn.
  • I must keep the faith and trust the journey.

David Lee

Decisions Made….

I’ve recently given some thought to why I make the decisions I do in life. And often-times am left to wonder if it’s really me making the decisions or not.

I try to stay aware of my current state of life, but there have been parts of the past that I can’t readily explain. Feelings change, as they will, and I’m left to wonder what caused me to decide to head in a certain direction to begin with.

The mind can be a bit tricky and sometimes what we think is the “right” choice to make turns out to be not such a wise one. But there’s no way we could have known that without the decisions that we made. Lessons learned in life, especially when dealing with other people, can be painful to experience.

I know I have to keep the faith and trust the journey and that includes being in situations that make me fearful or uneasy. I have to be willing to sit with the all of it until it becomes abundantly clear what action I should take. And even then, I’m not always sure what I’ve decided is in my best interest. But I also know I can’t sit idly by and let life continue without me playing a part in it.

Am I bound to make the decisions that I do? Or is it really fate playing itself out in my life? I’m not sure I know the answer to that one. I do know that I can’t change the past and what I’ve done, especially when it involves other people. I do the best I can in any given situation and when my best doesn’t seem to be working, I have to try something else.

So that’s where I’m at with thoughts on decision-making today. Just for today, I’ll follow the precepts of the serenity prayer: “Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; Pray for the wisdom to know the difference.”

David Lee

Numerical Synchronicity at Its Finest

I’ve been a big fan of synchronicity for quite a few years now and tonight, had a prime example of what I refer to as numerical synchronicity.

I posted the following card reading on social media this afternoon:

May be an image of bird and text that says '66 WHITE RAVEN SPIRTT Trust in the magic.'

#66 – WHITE RAVEN SPIRIT
Trust in the magic
“Protection Message: Are you being distracted by the illusion of a chaotic universe? Deep in your heart, you know the world is full of magic, and White Raven has appeared to remind you that the ways of the world can cause spiritual amnesia. Stay awake and alert, for Spirit wants you to enjoy the miracles all around you.

Remember, the evidence of divine order can be seen everywhere. Ask for a sign, and it shall be yours. Synchronicities happen all the time, so if you are in a time of challenge and feeling cynical, all you need to do is ask for a reminder. White Raven will appear to reassure you that all of this is leading to something better, for magic is in the wind.”

Notice the number of the card: 66

Later that same day, I received as a comment to my post a picture of a friend’s supper with the number 66 written on it. It just so happens that this friend has the same birthday, July 6th, as I do.

No photo description available.

A bit later, the same friend posted the temperature from her location, which is about an hour away from me…and you guessed it, 66 degrees!

May be an image of text that says 'PM PM 28% Boone Mostly Cloudy 66° H:75° L:55° National Weather Service: Wind advisory for Watauga County. Learn more > Next-Hour Precipitation -..... Now 10m 20m 30m 40m 50m Chance of drizzle in the next hour Now 9PM 60% 10PM 11PM 40% 12AM 50% 1AM 50% 2A 40 66° 66° 64° 63° 61° 59° 57'

When I messaged this friend to ask permission to use the pictures she had shared, I noticed an article I had shared with her five years ago…and the article dealt with the topic of synchronicity.

https://www.cnn.com/2015/12/29/us/odd-coincidences-synchronicity-the-other-side/index.html

So what does it all mean to me? I need to pay particular attention to the card reading that I got this afternoon and heed what it has to say.

The world is filled with messages with those who have an open mind, eyes, ears, and heart.

David Lee

The Journey Continues…

As we approach the summer months, in a year that could best be termed “unique”, I reflect on the many changes that have taken place in my life. I continue to teach in interim positions, currently in my second such assignment for this school year. There’s one month remaining in my latest gig and then it’s time for summer vacation.

I’m still getting used to living in the home I first occupied in 2003 and then moved out of for four years, before moving back in this past October. My daughter and granddaughter are now my new neighbors and it’s nice having family so close. But getting this house in order and making it feel more like a home has been a tall order. There was much work to be done and still quite a bit to do as the summer approaches.

My relationship life has had a lot of ups and downs this past year, and I now find myself once again living single. While I miss the companionship, I realize there are still a lot of things I need to work on to become the person I was intended to be. With some of the covid restrictions still in place, there’s now a lot of time that I’m home with my German shepherd Abby and am getting used to that all over again.

So I continue on the path I’ve been designed to lead. I still have a strong faith in God and know that He watches over me. I need to meditate on those things He would have me to do and follow where He leads.

David Lee

The Bookshelf…

I looked at my bookshelf this evening with a new set of eyes….

Of course, it does contain books. Each one carefully selected for its content and telling of my life’s journey this past many years.

But it contains so much more and, once again, each item selected as a sign of who I am and the journey I’ve been called to travel.

There’s pictures of my two adult children and I beam with pride as I reflect on the productive adults they have become. A Valentines Day card from my daughter that I found recently from years gone by, simply signed “I love you.” A copy of a newspaper article about a day in the life of my son, who is a police officer. And my favorite, a picture of the two of them together.

Another cherished part of the shelf’s display is a Valentines Day card from my girlfriend Lisa. The loving thoughts that it shares are a special reminder of our journey together. It includes the words “feeling incredibly lucky and proud to be the one who gets to call you “my love.” The love we share together is unique and uplifting.

Then there are two youth football helmets that represent two of my three school homes during my teaching career. The Eagles’ helmet is representative of Grandview Middle school, where I taught for twenty-two years. And then there’s the Redskins’ helmet, reminding me of the six years I spent at H.M. Arndt Middle School.

There also can be found on this bookshelf of mine a wooden drink bottle crate that contains over twenty 7-Up drink bottles. I started collecting bottles back in my teenage years and my collection used to occupy shelves just above my bed in my childhood home. There are a couple of 7-Up signs as well that remind me of my large collection of soda signs from various stores. A reminder of the time spent at my great-grandfather’s store, just a short distance from where I’m living now.

There are other odds and ends to be found on the bookshelf as well. Several small wind-up clocks, that of course have all the numbers displayed. An Indian chief statue that represents the last school I worked at before retiring. A photo album that stores pictures of my brother and sister and I from our childhoods is also cherished as well.

I have a bank that is from my grandparents’ house. It’s a large deer, painted in gold. Then there’s the Buster Brown bank that sits beside it. Tropical bird feathers are lined up in glass containers. They were a gift from a student in my class several years ago and are reminders that even though I retired ten years ago, I still continue to teach.

The bookshelf is a kind reminder of the earthly journey I’m on, with each bit and piece a part of who I am this day.

David Lee