Change a thought, move a muscle…

I’ve been given some time to do quite a bit of thinking. I’ve started walking again and that’s helped with my train of thought. I’ve also been reading a lot and listening to audiobooks of what I’ve been reading. And while I can’t readily recall all the wisdom I’ve covered, I can’t but think it’s doing me some good.

Once I got through the last days of this past school year, a lot of thoughts came rushing into my mind. Without the daily planning and grading that school required, I found myself swimming in negative thinking about all that had recently transpired in my life. The word recently included most all of what had happened in the past year.

I found myself waking up first thing in the morning with a stampede of negative thoughts, mostly centered around all the “what-ifs” in life. That hamster wheel spun round and round and didn’t seem to know any end. I knew that my journal writing would certainly help and also started reading some of the books I’ve collected. I also started walking again in order to try to clear out all the negative thoughts my mind seemed to want to focus on in its waking hours.

I have four or five books I’m reading at any one time. This is due in large part to the fact my ADD brain finds it hard to focus on any one thing for very long. I’ll underline a lot in the books I’m reading. I’ll transfer some of the big take-aways onto the pages in my journal. I’ve also got an app on my phone that allows me to listen to some of the books while I’m walking. This has probably been the biggest help.

If I was to sit down and try to tell you what I’ve learned, I’m not so sure there would be a lot of cohesive thoughts I’d be able to relate. I’ve considered starting a daily blog here on WordPress to share some of the bigger concepts with hopes of cementing them in my brain and, of course, to share them with others.

I feel that our subconscious mind keeps track of a lot more than we give it credit for. I think that it one of the sources of the dreams that we have. But I also think that we as people can benefit from what we’ve been exposed to, even if we can’t readily remember it. That old hard-wiring in our brains doesn’t give up easily and it perhaps is only through rote repetition of key concepts that I’m ever going to make any headway into changing my way of thinking.

Patient progress, not perfection as I like to say.

David Lee

Moving Forward….

Life is meant to be lived…or so I’m told. When there are those unexpected occurences in life, when things go awry,,,,it’s not always easy to know what to do. What you thought about life and the people in it can change with little or no notice. It’s what you do after those unexpected changes that will chart the course for the rest of your days.

When I was younger I figured that by this time in my life, nearly sixty-four years old, I would have settled in and figured out a definite course for my remaining days. I figured there would be stability and smooth sailing, with few or no worries on my plate. But such has not been the case. If anything, I’m at a less-stable point than I’ve been in a good many years. But I did my level best to stay the course and although I don’t fully understand what’s transpired, I’m trudging forward with faith that I’ll be able to handle whatever lies ahead.

I have done a lot of reading and a ton of writing over these past several months. Those help me to process life’s events. It helps to review what I’ve learned and to see the advancement I’ve been able to make. I’ve started walking and during those walks have listened to some insightful podcasts that share other’s views on this life that we live. I’ve been able to put down cigarettes as a coping mechanism and that in and of itself is a miracle to behold.

Moving forward, I know there’s a lot of work still to be done. I need to work on myself and continue to learn the lessons I’ve been assigned to learn through my experiences. It’s definitely hard work, but I’m confident that I will be able to stay the course and finish the race ahead of me.

More to come in sharing this journey, but that’s it for now.

David Lee

On a More Positive Note…

I spent some time reflecting yesterday on how my faith life has been lacking a bit here of late. But I am also reminded that I have a lot to be thankful for in this life. An attitude of gratitude goes a long way in helping combat any feeling of lack I might be having in life.

One of the things I’ve grown to be grateful for is relatively good health. I’ve started walking again and logged over sixty miles in the two and a half weeks I’ve been walking. I’ve found that exercise can be pretty addictive and while I’m not up to the niles I’d like to be walking, I think I’m making good progress while I’m walking I either listen to music or podcasts that offer hope and inspiration, so that’s a positive result as well. I go next week to have bloodwork done at the doctor’s office and I can’t help but think my new exercise regimen will help in that regard as well.

In the area of gratitude in physical health, I’ve been able to continue my cessation of smoking cigarettes. I had a good streak running back in December with nearly 150 days away from smoking when an emotionally-charged situation sent me back out. On February 25th of this year, I once again stopped smoking and have 111 of being cigarette-free. I’m still using nicotine lozenges and know I need to try to wean my way off those, but one step at a time.

Speaking of staying away from unhealthy habits, I’m coming up on twenty-one years of sobriety from alcohol. I’ve been able to go to more recovery meetings and talk with some good and trusted friends. I’ll admit that these past months have been a true test of my ability to work the twelve steps and I’m grateful for the guidance and wisdom recovery has offered me.

Just before the school year ended, I was able to get my teaching certificate renewed for another five years. This will enable me to continue to do interim teaching positions. I already have one lined up to start the new school year in August and I am very grateful for that. These interim positions help keep me focused and directed in life and I’m thankful for the opportunities I’ve been given in that area.

I also am grateful for a roof over my head, reliable transportation, food to eat, and so much more. So in the midst of questioning my faith life, I do realize that I have so much to be grateful for. In the midst of difficult times, I think that’s something we always need to keep in mind.

David Lee

Faith Life Taking a Hit Here of Late

I’ve always considered myself to be a person of great faith. Faith in the God of my understanding has never until recently been an issue. But events of the past eighteen months have really been a huge test of faith. So here I am, not knowing where it will lead. I’m also reminded to lean beyond my human scope of understanding and trust the journey.

The events in my in my life nearly twenty-one years ago were a true test of my faith in God. I found myself in a desperate situation in life and didn’t know where to turn. Luckily, there were resources put in front of me that I was willing to take advantage of and I weathered the storm with the aid of my Higher Power, whom I choose to call God.

Life proceeded along and although I didn’t always understand what transpired, my faith stayed strong and I had no doubt that things would work out for the best. I attended church and recovery meetings that helped me stay the course and although life was far from perfect, I seemed to be doing okay.

Things that have occurred over the past year and a half or so have caused me to put my faith to the challenge. If it was just one thing that happened, I would likely not have had the faith issues that I have had. But it was one thing, after another, then yet another that have pushed me to the limits. So on this day, I find myself questioning my beliefs about God and what part He plays in my daily life today.

I still believe there is a God. I haven’t gone so far as to say I’m an atheist. But I also see a God who may or may not have direct involvement in my everyday life. When you have a lot of negative things occur in your life, you tend to let your mind wander and your version of any sort of Higher Power can definitely change.

I know there is a God who has seen me through the difficult times in my life. I don’t think there’s any way I could have done it on my own. I am also blessed with a loving family and a recovery community that have walked beside me each step of the way. So as my faith in God has been stretched to the limits, I will definitely keep this in mind.

I don’t understand why people do the things they do. Of course, it can be said I don’t always understand why I do the things I do. I have had quite a few errors in judgement that I call into question. Looking back on it, I like to think I did the best I could and what I thought was right at the time.

On this day, I will pray to the God of my understanding for His guidance, wisdom, and strength. And although I don’t have a clear picture of what the God of my understanding is going to do in response, I will faithfully believe that He listens to my voice in the wilderness and in some manner, shape, or form will hear my prayers.

David Lee

Numerology Notes

Life Path Number – Your life path number shows the destined path that you will be walking down in this lifetime. It shows your true nature, uniqueness as a person, and the karmic debt that you have to work through.  7+6+1+9+5+9=37,,,,3+7=10,,,1+0=1

Number 1 represents an independent, self-sufficient, driven, and spirited personality. This is someone who has a sparky vibe about them.

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Destiny number

Your destiny number reveals the part of you that is looking for fulfillment. It shows your heart’s desire and what your souls are yearning for in this life. 

David—> 4+1+4+9+4=22/4

Lee—>3+5+5=13/4

Moser—>4+6+1+5+9=25/7

4+4+7=15/6

Number 6 represents the need for leadership and authority within all relationships and areas of life. It has a ‘take charge’ energy attached to it.

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Dreams and Synchronicity – Linked?

Last night I had a vivid dream about someone from my recent past. I usually struggle to recall my dreams, but this one was so vivid, the details most memorable. Being the inquisitive I am, I was wondering through this morning what the dream might mean.

Then, lo and behold, as I was walking around the local college campus, a car passes by whose numerical suffix was the dream’s main character’s house number. Does the synchronicity of these events mean something. Should I look for additional meaning behind the dream? Is this person making some plans on returning to be a part of my life? To be continued….

David Lee

Mind over Matter….

Do the thoughts and emotions running through our minds have an effect on the outside world? Quite a bit of the reading I’ve done here of late would seem to say “yes.” Fascinating concept and something to ponder as I go through my daily routine.

I can readily say that I am an overthinker as a human being. From the time I get up in the morning to the last waking moments of my day, I’m thinking about one thing or another. Even as I consider that my brain might need to take a break from all that thinking, I realize that may not be entirely possible.

I also know there’s a fair amount of modern psychology that says that we can get addicted to our overthinking. It would seem this can be the case even when our thoughts are of a negative nature. At first, I couldn’t fathom being addicted to something that was unpleasant but realized I might just be one of those it applies to.

Most of the excess thinking, at least for me, comes in the form of reliving past events or trying to foretell something that is in the future. Needless to say, that keeps me from being in the present moment, which is neither positive nor negative.

So just for today, I’ll try to live in the present moment as much as possible. I’ll try to enjoy each moment and go with the flow as they say. I’ll try to document some of my experiences and share those with readers.

David Lee

Replacing a Bad Habit with a Better One…

On February 25th of this year, I stopped smoking (again). It’s definitely not be an easy road. Now that school is out for the summer, I’ve started walking again. I figured the smoking cessation would be easier if I replaced that bad habit, one that was harmful to my health, with a good one. I’m pleased and proud of my first week’s results.

Now that summer break has officially started, I know that there are quite a few things I need to be doing. Housework, getting my finances organized, and establishing a summer routine, are just a few of the things on my list. I’ve noted over the past several months that I’ve seemed to be gaining weight and knew that I needed to get more physical activity to keep my weight at a reasonable level.

I weighed in a little over a week ago at 226 pounds. I figured I probably had gained more weight than that, but it’s still not what I’d like to be at. That weight is going to serve as a baseline for my renewed summer habit of walking each day. Two summers ago, I had gotten into an excellent regimen of walking at least two times per day. I figured it would be too difficult to pick back up where I left off.

I’m pleased and proud to say the first week is over and done and I was able to log 18.94 miles of walking. I walked at least once each day and several days I walked twice. The weather was quite cool most all of those days and that made it much easier. I’m blessed to have several places in my area that are great for walking and that’s a big plus.

I know as the summer begins in just a couple of weeks that the temperature is going to get much warmer and it may be a stretch to keep up my currently weekly level. But I’ve at least gotten off to a good start. I’m going to set as a goal for this next week to walk twenty miles. Yesterday, the first day of the week, I logged 4.6 miles, so I’m off to a good start.

I’ve also found that once I got through the first several days, I’m feeling more motivated to walk each day. I pushed myself on several occasions to go a bit farther than I had originally planned. Even though I have some soreness associated with the first week of walking, it’s not so bad that’s it’s kept me from continuing. The added benefit of not smoking has also been a big plus. Two years ago when I did this, I was smoking and I’m thinking the fact I’ve been able to put those down will give me better results.

I’ll try to keep everyone up-to-date with my progress and I’m feeling good about this new habit.

David Lee

The Blue Feather Experiment – Put to the Test

I recently saw a post on social media about the “Blue Feather Experiment.” The premise is that one would set the intention to see a blue feather. You would then go along your way, not consciously thinking about the intention, but just waiting for it to appear. I decided to try the experiment or out for myself. And here are the results,,,

So I became a member of the “Law of Attraction” group on Reddit and perused the many posts in the group. The one post that caught my undivided attention was one that detailed an experiment that anyone could test out. Indeed I had some previous experiences with this law of attraction and figured it couldn’t hurt to try it out.

I sent the intention out into the Universe: “I would like to see a blue feather.” Then, the hardest part of the experiment – I had to consciously forget the intention and go on about my life. The intention either would or would not come into being and if it did, I knew I would be abundantly aware of it when it did. And off I went,,,

A couple of days had passed and I continued to go on my merry way. I had recently taken up walking again and figured I would likely see a blue feather on one of those walks. A couple of days passed and there was no blue feather to be found. I also was aware that I couldn’t impose a time table on the appearance of the blue feather, I just had to trust the process.

So today I decided to take a walk around the local university and during that journey, I realized I had yet to see a blue feather. I did see something blue in the grass soon thereafter, but upon inspection found out it definitely wasn’t a blue feather. I continued my walk and tried to put the experiment out of my mind.

During the second leg of my walk, I decided I needed to use the restroom and went into one of their buildings to do just that. When I stepped back out of the building, I startled a bird, which flew away. I’ll give you one guess as to what type of bird it was. Yes, it was a blue jay. While I was thinking I would see a blue feather that had detached from a bird, I had seen not one, but several blue feathers still attached to their owner.

At first I wanted to discount this sighting. I had expected to see a solitary blue feather on the ground,,, one that I could pick up and take with me as a sign of the success of the grand experiment. But alas, I had seen several blue feathers and took it that indeed the wish had come true.

I have to admit, I’ll still be looking for a solitary blue feather like I imagined, but at least for today, my intention had come to fruition.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.