100 Days of Writing – Day Sixty-One

“Fear – the evil and corroding thread that weaves its way through the very fabric of our existence.” – AA Big Book

Fear is a part of our lives that can rear its ugly head in so many different ways. I know for myself, it’s played a major part of my thought life, especially over the past year. Fear is usually, at least for me, trepidation about the future, which is largely unknown. From the time I wake up in the morning, it permeates my thought life and can indeed be maddening at times.

I think we all tend to want to rid ourselves of fear and all those other uncomfortable emotions that are a part of our mental framework. We look for “outside us” sources to soothe and relieve us of the mental wiring that causes us to lean towards emotions like fear. I know for myself, at one point in my life, I thought that alcohol was the answer to my fear and anxiety. This proved to be a short-term solution to a long-term problem and led me to disastrous results. Smoking was also a go-to in an attempt to ease my fearful emotions and that didn’t offer much more than the likelihood I would live a shorter life.

I know today that I must seek within myself and my spiritual life for a lessening of my fearful thought life. Just this week, I have sought for and received assistance from mental health professionals to aid in this goal. I must remember that there is a God of my understanding who is here to guide me and lead me. I need to remember the phrase “change a thought, move a muscle” and look to keep my mind focused on what I CAN do and not those things that I have NO control over.

Writing this blog this morning is one of the avenues I’ve taken to turn down the volume of the fearful thoughts I was having when I awakened. I also wrote three prayers in my journal that address and ask for relief from the fears I’m feeling. My hope is to take each moment of this day as it comes and to do those things God has set before me and not get caught up and obsess about whatever fears may present themselves.

David Lee

Published by David Lee Moser

I am a sixty year old semi-retired elementary science teacher.

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