Intimacy…or lack thereof

I’ve recently done some soul searching and in the process, have read something about being authentic with others, an area I will admit I’ve struggled with in the past. I make these notes to myself and think perhaps others will connect with them as well.

“To be authentic,,,What does that mean?”

• Never listen to anybody, what they tell you to be. Always listen to your inner voice, what you would like to be. Otherwise, your life will be wasted.
• Never wear a mask. Feel what you are going to feel and don’t feel the need to hide your feelings from others.
• Always remain in the present because all falseness enters from the past or from the future.

My Reflections…

Premise 1 – We are in need of learning about ourselves the best we can. I think we have a tendency to look outside ourselves to give our lives meaning. And then fact of the matter is that nothing “out there” is going to tell us what we need to know about ourselves. Other people can tell me what they think of me and my decisions in life, but ultimately I must find out for myself what it is that I’m all about. And besides, what other people think of me really isn’t any of my business.

Premise 2- I tend to be a people pleaser most of the time. I want others to be happy and enjoy my presence. So many times, I step outside of myself and my wishes and desires to make others happy. In the process, I lose a part of myself. And while I like to see others be happy, I also have to consider my own happiness. The difficult part is that many times I don’t realize that’s what I’m doing at the time. Sure there is some give and take in life, but ultimately honesty with others is of utmost importance.

Premise 3 – When I dwell too much with what has transpired in the past, I am living mostly in regret and resentment. My thoughts can tell me that past history is going to repeat itself and I take them at their word. In reality, the present is not the past. People change….and in some cases, it’s not even the same people from the past that we’re talking about. When I dwell too much in the future, I’m living in fear. Fear of the “what-ifs” in life can rob me of enjoying the present moment. So just for today, let me keep my head and heart and feet in the same place. One. day. at. a. time.

David Lee