Six Feet Under…

Billie Eilish Lyrics

“Six Feet Under”

“Six Feet Under”

Help, I lost myself again
But I remember you
Don’t come back, it won’t end well
But I wish you’d tell me too

Our love is six feet under
I can’t help but wonder
If our grave was watered by the rain
Would roses bloom?
Could roses bloom
Again?

Retrace my lips
Erase your touch
It’s all too much for me
Blow away
Like smoke in air
How can you die carelessly?

Our love is six feet under
I can’t help but wonder
If our grave was watered by the rain
Would roses bloom?
Could roses bloom?

They’re playing our sound
Laying us down tonight
And all of these clouds
Crying us back to life
But you’re cold as a knife

Six feet under
I can’t help but wonder
If our grave was watered by the rain
Bloom
Bloom

Again

Help, I lost myself again
But I remember you

Getting My Act Together

The past three months have been anything but easy. I had settled in to teach for the rest of the school year when the pandemic hit and along with that, having to learn how to teach remotely on the fly. I was fortunate to have two co-teachers that excelled at this monumental undertaking and that helped immensely. A couple of weeks ago saw an end to this interim gig, however, and the summer began.

There are lot of things that I’d normally be doing that are no longer options. I’d undoubtedly be spend a part of my time at the Barnes & Noble Cafe’, my home away from home, but it’s not been reopened for seating. I usually would go out to eat at least once a day and although some of the venues have reopened, I’ve mainly done pick-up or more recently, had it delivered. I resigned my post as a photographer for the local newspaper, so that’s not anything that gets me out and about and moving.

Perhaps the most difficult part of it all has been the loneliness that has set in here of late. It’s a deep-seeded feeling, especially at night, that finds that desire for human contact once again unfulfilled. As an effort to fill this void, I’ve even this week gotten memberships in a couple of dating websites, but thus far that really hasn’t led to much.

I know in recovery not to run from my emotions and feelings. This past week, I seem to have gotten stuck in that feeling of loneliness and know I need to work through it, but am not sure exactly how to go about doing that. I’ve reached out to several friends along the way and they’ve offered me support, but the fact remains the feeling lingers.

I lead an online recovery meeting once a week and brought this up as a topic one evening. I heard a lot of good experience, strength, and hope and quite a few of the members thanked me for addressing the topic that you don’t hear talked about too often in meetings. So I had done what I knew to do,,,,to reach out and to be of service…and wouldn’t you know after that meeting, I felt more alone and lonely than I did at any point.

So I’l continue to trudge along, accepting my feelings for what they are. I’ll still make efforts to reach out, but know in my heart that if the loneliness is to subside, I’ll have to stay the course I’m currently on. A lot of what I know is what NOT to do…I’m pretty familiar with all that.

So I guide my thoughts this day to happier times in my life and will put my intentions out into the universe that my loneliness, in all its many forms, will subside when it’s run it’s course.

David Lee

Been a While…

Once again, it’s been a while since I’ve done any blog entries. And so on this early rainy Friday morning, I thought I’d put some of thoughts down to share.

Certainly a crazy world we’re living in here of late. Not only are we in the midst of a pandemic, but it’s also become a political debate of sorts as well. A lot of folks it would seem are throwing any scientific evidence out the window and have started going about their business as if the virus is over with and done. And according to what I’ve read and researched, nothing could be further from the truth.

In addition to that situation, we’ve been dealing with a lot racial strife due to the actions of police officers in Minneapolis….lots of protests and outright rioting. There are perhaps some positive changes that are going to result from it all, but for right now it’s caused more division than anything.

So we are over half-way though June, with July knocking on the door, I realize that we’re going to be half-way through this year. A year to end all years it would seem. I definitely took a lot of the simpler things in life for granted, that I know. We can only hope that the second half of the year offers some resolution to the problems we’ve experienced during the first half.

On a personal level, it’s been more difficult this past week or so to deal with the isolation from others. I did go have lunch with my parents and daughter and that was nice. I’ve been making my every-other-day runs to get supplies at the store that’s just up the street. But I genuinely desire to have face-to-face contact with others, and that’s just not happened for me. And I don’t know that there’s a simple solution to that.

My latest attempt at initiating a relationship didn’t pan out as I had hoped and felt it would. I understand that others have their priorities in life and I have to be acceptive of that fact. I’ve reached another one of those times when I pretty much resign myself to the fact that this is just the way it’s supposed to be in my life at this point. But the loneliness seems to be a bit more difficult to deal with these past couple of weeks. I was leading a Zoom online recovery meeting and brought loneliness up as a topic. I heard lots of good experience, strength, and hope during the hour we met. But ironically, the end result at the conclusion of the meeting was that I felt more lonely than I did at the outset.

So as the rain pours and pours outside, as it has most of the week, I prepare to get some sleep and will be ready to start another day when daylight returns. Most of the time I don’t mind the rain, but we’ve had more than our fair share this week. Just one of those parts of life, as with most others things I’ve mentioned, that I don’t have any control over.

I’ll continue in the upcoming days to remember my mantra for this difficult time, “Keep the faith, trust the journey” and know that all will eventually one day be well. At some point, when we don’t know, the virus will be reduced to the point we can go about our more normal routines….Hopefully we will be able to withstand the conflicts of the past several weeks and begin to heal as a country….And I will definitely know that if a relationship is to be a part of my life, it will be and if not, then I’ll be okay with that as well.

Until next time,

David Lee

Wrapped Around Your Finger

Wrapped Around Your Finger

The Police

You consider me the young apprentice
Caught between the Scylla and Charibdes
Hypnotized by you if I should linger
Staring at the ring around your fingerI have only come here seeking knowledge
Things they would not teach me of in college
I can see the destiny you sold turned into a shining band of goldI’ll be wrapped around your finger
I’ll be wrapped around your finger
Mephistopheles is not your name
I know what you’re up to just the same
I will listen hard to your tuition
You will see it come to its fruition
I’ll be wrapped around your finger
I’ll be wrapped around your fingerDevil…

King of Pain…

[Verse 1]
There’s a little black spot on the sun today
It’s the same old thing as yesterday

There’s a black hat caught in a high tree top
There’s a flag pole rag and the wind won’t stop

[Chorus]
I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running ’round my brain
I guess I’m always hoping that you’ll end this reign
But it’s my destiny to be the king of pain

[Verse 1]
There’s a little black spot on the sun today
(That’s my soul up there)
It’s the same old thing as yesterday

(That’s my soul up there)
There’s a black hat caught in a high treetop
(That’s my soul up there)
There’s a flag pole rag and the wind won’t stop

(That’s my soul up there)

There’s a fossil that’s trapped in a high cliff wall
(That’s my soul up there)

I Wanna Know….

I Wanna Know

Joe

Yeah


Alright, oh, oh, ohIt’s amazing how you knock me off my feet, hm
Every time you come around me I get weak, oh yeah
Nobody ever made me feel this way, oh
You kiss my lips and then you take my breath away
So I want to knowI want to know what turns you on
I’d like to know (So I can be all that and more)
I’d like to know (I’d like to know what makes you cry)
So I can be the one who always makes you smileGirl he never understood what you were worth, hm no
And he never took the time to make it work
(You deserve more loving, girl)
Baby I’m the kind of man who shows concern, yes I do, oh
Anyway that I can please you let me learn
So I wanna knowI wanna know what turns you on
I wanna know (So I can be all that and more)
I’d like to (I’d like to know…

Never Have I Ever…

Never Have I Ever

Hillsong Young & Free

I was running wild, fell in love with the chase
I’ve been up and down and all over the place
Wasting all my days and nights
Never feeling satisfiedPutting on a smile, I was keeping it fake
But there’s no imitating what I’ve found in Your grace
All the things I left behind
Are shadows now I’ve seen the light (Let me hear ya)In my head and my soul
My heart, my all
I know that I know
Know, know, know (Come on Young & Free)Never, never have I ever
Ever found a love so good, so good
Never, never am I ever
Ever getting over living with You
Nothing will change it
All I can say is
Never, never have I ever
Ever found a love so good, so goodI’ve got a million reasons why I can’t be the same
You’ve got me looking forward, never turning my gaze
Forever, God, it’s You…

Graveyard

Graveyard

Halsey

It’s crazy when
The thing you love the most is the detriment
Let that sink in
You can think again
When the hand you wanna hold is a weapon and
You’re nothin’ but skinOh, ’cause I keep diggin’ myself down deeper
I won’t stop ’til I get where you are
I keep running, I keep running, I keep runningThey say I may be making a mistake
I would’ve followed all the way, no matter how far
I know when you go down all your darkest roads
I would’ve followed all the way to the graveyardOh, ’cause I keep diggin’ myself down deeper
I won’t stop ’til I get where you are
I keep running when both my feet hurt
I won’t stop ’til I get where you are
Oh, when you go down all your darkest roads
I would’ve followed all the way to the graveyard (no, oh)You look at me (look at me)…

Hold You…

 

Hold You

CLANN

Rest now, my love
It’s all right
The dark is gone
I’m here
I hold you
(I hold you)Rest now, your heart
It’s all right
We’re all right
Although you’re gone
I’ll be here to hold you
I’ve got youWill you breathe through me?
And calm the storm inside
Just breathe through me
We’ll keep the fires alight
I’ll face down the world with youI hold you
I’m here
To hold youWill you breathe through me?
And calm the storm inside
Just…

Everything I Wanted…

Everything I Wanted

Billie Eilish

I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
Not what you’d think
And if I’m being honestIt might’ve been a nightmare
To anyone who might care
Thought I could fly (fly)
So I stepped off the Golden, mm
Nobody cried (cried, cried, cried, cried)
Nobody even noticed
I saw them standing right there
Kinda thought they might care (might care, might care)I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
But when I wake up, I see
You with me And you say, “As long as I’m here
No one can hurt you
Don’t wanna lie here
But you can learn to
If I could change
The way that you see yourself
You wouldn’t wonder why you hear
They don’t deserve you”I tried to scream
But my head was underwater
They called me weak
Like I’m not just somebody’s daughter Coulda been a nightmare
But it felt like they were…