Time for a Break from it all…

Part One – Summation of this past school year….

My last day of teaching for the school year was last Friday, May 26th. I served in two interim positions this school year, one at the beginning and the other covering the last half of the school year. I had several one-day assignments thrown in between for good measure. Now it’s time to take a break and refresh and regroup.

My first interim position was an eighth-grade assignment, teaching science, my favorite. Originally it was supposed to have been a seventh-grade assignment, but the teacher was reassigned. I was fortunate to have a great group of students and excellent teachers to work with on this first assignment. Those positions covering the first days and weeks of school can be challenging, but I was up to the challenge. I was eventually told that the position was coming to a close and I truly enjoyed the eight weeks or so it covered.

For the next several months, I filled in for teachers on a day-to-day basis. Those jobs were not difficult to find and I enjoyed most all the days I worked. I did cover for a teacher for four consecutive days and that too was a pleasant experience. It’s always interesting to not be attached to one particular school and see a wide range of teaching styles and groups of children.

While I was substituting in the class I had been with for the start of the school year one day, the principal came by and asked me to step out in the hall to discuss something. I of course thought someone had complained or something of the sort, but alas that was not the case. He had a teacher that had decided to leave her position and wanted to know if I could cover the classes for the rest of the school year. I didn’t hesitate to agree to the position that would start at the end of the first week in February.

These groups of students would have been the ones I would have taught if the teacher hadn’t been reassigned over the summer. So in a way, I figure it was in the Universe’s plans for me to work with this group of kids. I would also have the opportunity to work with a teacher I had worked with the year before and another teacher I had done an interim position for two years prior.

I will have to admit this group of students was a bit more challenging to work with than the first group I had taught earlier in the school year. But things worked out just fine and I think we had a really good second half of the year. As with most positions covering the last weeks of school, it did get quite challenging, but all ended well.

Looking towards next school year, I’ve gotten my teaching certificate renewed for at least the next five years. This will allow me to continue to do interim positions. I also have been given an eighth-grade teacher’s maternity leave to start the school year. So even more important to get some good quality R & R this summer. It’ll be time to start back before you know it.

Smoking Cessation – Not an Easy Road

Today marks ninety-one days of not smoking cigarettes. It’s definitely not easy road to travel, but I know it’s for my ultimate good. I had rolled up over 150 days back in December, but an emotionally-charged event occurred in my life and I succumbed to the urge to pick up again. I smoked a pack a day sixty-eight days, but once again gained the resolve to stop once more.

I’m still using nicotine lozenges to take care of those cravings and I realize I need to get those out of the way as well. But I figure I had to start somewhere and anything was better than inhaling all that smoke and all the other chemicals contained in cigarettes.

I do from time-to-time consider lighting up again. It’s not really what I would call a craving. I see someone, usually these days outside, and they are taking the last puffs off their cigarette before coming inside or smoking outside their car before reentering. I can imagine that’s me and have the illusion of enjoying every puff of that cigarette. But it’s just a passing train of thought and as of yet, hasn’t led me to go back to my old ways.

I’m taking it one day at a time and at least I know for the past ninety-some days there are 1800+ cigarettes that I haven’t smoked and I consider that to be a good thing – a life-saving thing.

David Lee

100 Days of Writing – Day One Hundred

It’s taken me just over eleven months to get one hundred days of writing. As I look back over the ninety-nine posts, I’m reminded of on thing: impermanence. Things are always going to be changing in life and we must accept things that we don’t particularly like or understand along the path.

So much has changed over the past year in my life. As has been said, either nothing seems to be happening or everything is happening at once. There truly doesn’t seem to be any middle ground. If I look at the circumstances in my life a little over a year ago, they are so much different than what they are now. A lot of the changes are ones that I had no way of foretelling. But despite all the changes, I’m staying the course and keeping the faith.

Just over a year ago, I had a beloved dog, Abby. She succumbed to cancer only two weeks after her diagnosis. My mother, who was suffering from dementia, died less than a week later. Her death has left such a huge void in so many people’s lives. And then in-between there was a wedding, but here, just over a year later, we’re already separated. Three days short of the seventh month after we were married, it came to an abrupt close.

I am thinking the two interim teaching positions I’ve had over the past school year were a big part of what helped me keep my sanity. Both positions took a great deal of focus and gave me a true purpose for staying the course and giving me direction. It was bittersweet today when we said goodbye to our students and I realized that come Monday morning, I wouldn’t have that to look forward to each day.

So, here’s to the summer ahead. May it be filled with much joy and happiness.

David Lee

100 Days of Writing – Day Ninety-Nine

I’m nearly finished with my one-hundred days of writing. I had planned on writing for consecutive days, but that didn’t work out as planned. Nevertheless, these readings will provide some valuable insight on what has transpired in my life over the past year or so.

Anniversaries are usually joyous occasions, where we look back on years of joyous events in life. And while I still have a lot to be joyful of, this May will mark the one-year anniversaries of two somber events in my life.

It was during this month last year that my mother was suffering from the last stages of dementia that would eventually take her life. While I can say I’m glad she didn’t have to suffer any longer than she did, her last days with us were definitely not easy. I am so thankful that there are services available for families dealing with such situations and that our local hospice services were there for us during those last weeks. My mother left a legacy of sharing her love with all that she came across and is definitely missed by many.

It was also during the month of May last year that I found out my German shepherd Abby had terminal cancer. I had to make the difficult decision to say goodbye to her just six days before my mother died. She had been with me for over ten years and her death left a tremendous void.

The two deaths in such a short span of time were life lessons that we all too often take those around us forgranted.

David Lee

100 Days of Writing – Day Ninety-Eight

Random journal entries are interesting to read and sometimes give a new perspective on the past…These are my words from a journal that contains a wide variety of views and observations. I don’t have any particular objective with my selection of writings. Just to share what was going through my mind at the time.

November 20, 2022 – “I want to experience a positive working frame of mind.”

November 24, 2022 – “I have experienced a lot of changes in my life over this past year and am aware that changes can cause mental and emotional unrest. This past year I have experienced many new beginnings and endings. Some were joyous and some were somber. I definitely have changed the way I look at the world.”

November 25, 2022 – Smoking cessation – Since July 18th – 130 days, 2613 cigarettes avoided, $758 saved, 10 days won back.

December 4, 2022 – “I do not need outside validation to tell me I am a person of value. I do not need another person to tell me that my thoughts, words, and deeds are or are not ‘appropriate.”

December 14, 2022 -Today is the day for our flight to Tampa – first time I’ve flown in about 47 years – only the second time in all – weather here today is dreary and cold – although it’s supposed to have thunderstorms there tomorrow, it should be much warmer

December 19, 2022 – Beginning another week – Cold out this morning – Dentist appointment this afternoon at 2 p.m. – Planning on going to 10 a.m. WRC meeting this morning – need to call City of Hickory this morning to get water cut off at 924 today – Possible icy mix weather towards the end of the week – closing in on Christmas Eve and Christmas weekend

100 Days of Writing – Day Ninety-Seven

True test of faith… I have a small plaque in my bedroom that states: “Good morning. This is God. I am going to be handling all your problems today.” As I reflect on the past year, I’m not so sure what exactly that entails. I know that I need to do my part and yes, sometimes my faith in God becomes weak. But today I faithfully believe that there is a God who walks beside me and gives me the guidance, wisdom, and strength to face whatever lies ahead of me.

David Lee

100 Days of Writing – Day Ninety-Six

It was June of last year that I started my one-hundred days of writing. I planned on writing every day for those days. Here we are, nearly a year later and I’m just closing in on the hundredth day. It should be interesting to read back over what I’ve written this past year. If only I knew then what I know now. But that’s not the way life works, is it?

I am one of those people who genuinely wants to understand life. Why do things turn out as they do…why people, including myself, do the things they do. I have gained some understanding, but have I really. I think I’ve figured out why things in the past happened as they did, but have I really? It may just be my viewpoint and that’s about all. And I’m okay with that.

Radical acceptance is a relatively new term for me. But I think it’s an important concept to take into account moving forward. The past definitely cannot be changed. Things happened as they did,,,turned out the way they did. No amount of thinking is going to change that. While there are lessons to be learned for sure, I don’t need to obsess about the past and revisit all those moments.

So just for today, I’ll try to live in the present and appreciate the day.

David Lee

100 Days of Writing – Day Ninety-Five

It would seem that tests of faith abound here of late. I’ve found my beliefs to be changing in broad respects. Is it just a stage or something much larger?

I’ve heard it often said that we face many tests of faith in our lives. This past year has seen more of those tests of faith than I can fathom. And as the events in my life continue to unfold, I’m finding that my faith is being tested beyond compare.

Some of the beliefs I’ve held for almost all of my life are being called into question. I have seen the core beliefs I was raised with are being tested. I’m listening to other voices and some of those are making a lot of sense in the context of what’s going on in my life.

I’ve done quite a bit of reading and have watched a good number of YouTube videos and have come to know other perspectives as to what makes our world as it is. Not that I’ve totally given up all my former beliefs, but I have gained an understanding that there are other ways to view how our world was created and how it works in the present day.

And for right now, that’s all I have to say about that.

David Lee

100 Days of Writing – Day Ninety-Four

Radical acceptance…radical surrender…and lessons to be learned.

I’ve read a lot about the process of “letting go” and although it seems simple, it’s definitely never easy. There are so many, some say most, things that are beyond our locus of control in this world. It seems this is especially true when it comes to other people’s thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs. Even when we have a vested interest in someone else’s decisions about how they live their lives, it would appear that letting go is the ultimate answer.

This is not to say that we should sit idly by and feel the effects of other people’s choices. We should do our due diligence and then, and only then, give it up to the Universe to resolve. I used to think that meant that things would go our way in most cases, but I now know that’s not the case. Even still, letting go frees us up to be the people we were intended to be.

I can send positive intentions out into the Universe, even for that person whose actions have had an adverse effect on me. I can do what I need to do to take care of myself and practice self-care. But ultimately, the circumstances dictate outcomes that are beyond my control and I need to do what I feel is necessary to practice self-care and move on with my life.

Such are my thoughts this day, as I practice the radical acceptance and surrender that seems to be necessary to live a peaceful and productive life.

David Lee

100 Days of Writing – Day Ninety-Three

The world of emotions can be like a roller coaster ride with lots of ups and downs. But as a friend reminded me today, at least I have a roller coaster.

This week of spring break has been a good time to relax and get a few things done around the house. While I didn’t do all I had planned, I’ve enjoyed having the time off from work. Today was one of those days when not-so-enjoyable emotions seemed to want to have their way. Just a reminder that I am not my emotions, I’m the one experiencing them.

Lot has gone on this past year in my life this past calendar year. There have been a lot of beginnings and endings. I think I can say that most of what’s happened was outside my locus of control. In fact, a friend reminded me today that it’s almost all out of our control. So when one of those depressive days rolls in like it did today, I have to keep the faith that my journey is exactly what it’s supposed to be and I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, both emotionally and spiritually.

I most of the time choose not to share the details of my last year’s journey. I don’t want to harbor any pity, nor do I want to give personal details that are no one’s business but my own. But let’s just say that the roller coaster ride has been a wild one and I can understand why not-so-good days like today show up from time-to-time.

I went back in my journals last night and reread some of what I’d written since December, which was a life-changing month for me. I then went back to readings from last summer to see if there was something I could glean from those writings. Perhaps I shouldn’t have done that. I attribute a part of today’s down feeling to my reminiscing about those difficult times.

Things didn’t turn out the way any of us might have wanted. But those things did happen and there’s nothing that can be done to change any of that. I try to remind myself to stay in the present moment and not linger in the past. But I still can find myself doing that fairly often. Perhaps last night’s reading should be the final time I revisit those journal entries.

I did do some work in the yard today, thinking that would help me take my mind off thoughts that were unproductive. And while there was a bit of frustration with things of a mechanical nature, I was able to stay the course and get quite a bit done. Physical activity was good for the soul in this case.

I also had shared something with a FB friend via messenger and that person had responded to the humorous video I had share. She reminded me of some important things to keep in mind, mainly that much or most of what goes on in our worlds is out of our control. She also reminded me that I had to consider what part I had to play in my life’s circumstances and it was good to have that in mind.

So today has been another day. I know I have a lot to be grateful for and am looking forward to what the new day might hold. I’m still taking it one day at a time.

David Lee