100 Days of Writing – Day Ninety-Three

The world of emotions can be like a roller coaster ride with lots of ups and downs. But as a friend reminded me today, at least I have a roller coaster.

This week of spring break has been a good time to relax and get a few things done around the house. While I didn’t do all I had planned, I’ve enjoyed having the time off from work. Today was one of those days when not-so-enjoyable emotions seemed to want to have their way. Just a reminder that I am not my emotions, I’m the one experiencing them.

Lot has gone on this past year in my life this past calendar year. There have been a lot of beginnings and endings. I think I can say that most of what’s happened was outside my locus of control. In fact, a friend reminded me today that it’s almost all out of our control. So when one of those depressive days rolls in like it did today, I have to keep the faith that my journey is exactly what it’s supposed to be and I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, both emotionally and spiritually.

I most of the time choose not to share the details of my last year’s journey. I don’t want to harbor any pity, nor do I want to give personal details that are no one’s business but my own. But let’s just say that the roller coaster ride has been a wild one and I can understand why not-so-good days like today show up from time-to-time.

I went back in my journals last night and reread some of what I’d written since December, which was a life-changing month for me. I then went back to readings from last summer to see if there was something I could glean from those writings. Perhaps I shouldn’t have done that. I attribute a part of today’s down feeling to my reminiscing about those difficult times.

Things didn’t turn out the way any of us might have wanted. But those things did happen and there’s nothing that can be done to change any of that. I try to remind myself to stay in the present moment and not linger in the past. But I still can find myself doing that fairly often. Perhaps last night’s reading should be the final time I revisit those journal entries.

I did do some work in the yard today, thinking that would help me take my mind off thoughts that were unproductive. And while there was a bit of frustration with things of a mechanical nature, I was able to stay the course and get quite a bit done. Physical activity was good for the soul in this case.

I also had shared something with a FB friend via messenger and that person had responded to the humorous video I had share. She reminded me of some important things to keep in mind, mainly that much or most of what goes on in our worlds is out of our control. She also reminded me that I had to consider what part I had to play in my life’s circumstances and it was good to have that in mind.

So today has been another day. I know I have a lot to be grateful for and am looking forward to what the new day might hold. I’m still taking it one day at a time.

David Lee

Published by David Lee Moser

I am a sixty-three year old semi-retired elementary and middle school science teacher.

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