I’ve recently given some thought to why I make the decisions I do in life. And often-times am left to wonder if it’s really me making the decisions or not.
I try to stay aware of my current state of life, but there have been parts of the past that I can’t readily explain. Feelings change, as they will, and I’m left to wonder what caused me to decide to head in a certain direction to begin with.
The mind can be a bit tricky and sometimes what we think is the “right” choice to make turns out to be not such a wise one. But there’s no way we could have known that without the decisions that we made. Lessons learned in life, especially when dealing with other people, can be painful to experience.
I know I have to keep the faith and trust the journey and that includes being in situations that make me fearful or uneasy. I have to be willing to sit with the all of it until it becomes abundantly clear what action I should take. And even then, I’m not always sure what I’ve decided is in my best interest. But I also know I can’t sit idly by and let life continue without me playing a part in it.
Am I bound to make the decisions that I do? Or is it really fate playing itself out in my life? I’m not sure I know the answer to that one. I do know that I can’t change the past and what I’ve done, especially when it involves other people. I do the best I can in any given situation and when my best doesn’t seem to be working, I have to try something else.
So that’s where I’m at with thoughts on decision-making today. Just for today, I’ll follow the precepts of the serenity prayer: “Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; Pray for the wisdom to know the difference.”