Being Alone vs. Being Lonely
Just the other day a friend and I were discussing the fact that we both lived alone and compared that with “being lonely.” Most people would say they are one in the same, but in actuality they are quite different.
After being married for twenty-three years, I found myself living with my nineteen year old son. After he got his first job, he announced that he was moving out and for the first time in my life, I was living alone. Quite a difference going from living with a family of four to being on your own. A little over a year later, my daughter moved in with me and for the next four years I once again had someone living with me. When she got married this past May, she of course moved out and I was once again on my own.
So, there’s the fact I live alone. Which is different from being lonely most would say.
Alone – adj.
Being apart from others; solitary.
Being without anyone or anything else; only.
Being alone to me is simply a state of being. If you live by yourself, you are alone. If you are in the house by yourself, you are alone. No emotions in the least are involved.
On the other hand, lonely is more of a state of mind than a state of being. I can feel lonely, yet be surrounded by many family and friends. I can also feel lonely when I’m at my home by myself.
lonely – adj., -li·er, -li·est.
Without companions; lone.
Characterized by aloneness; solitary.
While the dictionary definition does include “aloneness” and “solitary,” I still see the two as being very different in meaning. I think it’s normal for someone that lives alone to feel lonely from time-to-time. I think it can also be said there are some living alone that feel lonely most of the time. While I do live alone, I’m comfortable with that. There are indeed some advantages to being responsible to no one while you’re in your home. But then there’s my emotional feelings of being lonely. Wanting the companionship of someone else… being close enough to someone where you can share your day’s happenings…. someone to share your love with and receive love in return.
Such is the way I feel on two often-misunderstood words: alone and lonely.
David Lee
David Lee 
I agree with what you have written. They are not the same. Lonely is a felt emotion where as alone is the absence of people.
I would say everyone, divorced or not, have felt both of these.
When feeling lonely, I try to put on music that is upbeat so that it doesn’t feel so bad. Or, I let myself feel that way so that I cry and get it out of my system. I also don’t beat myself up for crying. It’s ok to do and to move on afterwards.
That being said, alone and lonely are clearly opposites.