Thanksgiving Day is upon us once again.  A day to express our gratitude for the many blessings we have received in our lives.  While this may be more difficult to do some years than others, there are always things that we have present in our lives that have made them more meaningful.

I am thankful for loving parents, siblings, children, and grandchildren… There are so many situations in life where friends can be here one day and gone the next.  But when it comes to the long haul, I have found that family is there when it means the most.  I am fortunate to be able to spend Thanksgiving with both of my parents.  For the past fifty years they have seen to it that a bountiful meal is prepared and a warm home available to spend the day.  While the number of family members has decreased over the years, it’s still a special time.

I’ll see my sister and her family and perhaps send an email to my brother, who lives in Georgia.  I’m not sure if my children, Patrick and Heather, and their families will be sharing dinner with us or eating with their mother and her family.   I’ve been so blessed that they have continued to be there for me during both the good days and bad.  It means a lot to have a family that stands beside you regardless of the mistakes you’ve made and been there to help you get back on your feet again.

I’m also thankful for the fact I’m still gainfully employed with a full-time job.  I’m 99% sure that this will be my last year in teaching, but for the past 29 years a teaching position has enabled me to support a family, put food on the table, buy vehicles and take care of life’s basic needs.  With so many out of work with the current economy, I’m thankful that I have always had work to earn a salary.  There are a lot of options for the post retirement years.  I’ve learned to take it one day at a time and to examine all the choices  and to consider new and exciting avenues I haven’t considered before.

Above all else, I am thankful God has done for me what I could not have done for myself.  God continues each and every day to do for me what I cannot accomplish on my own.  If you would have told me nine years ago that the events of the past years were going to have happened, I would have questioned your sanity.  But the fact of the matter was, at that time I didn’t have much of any type of relationship with God.  It was during the darkest days of my life eight years ago that I came to realization that God is really what it’s all about.  It’s not just going to church and doing those things to help others that “good God-fearing people do.”  It’s all about relationship,,, my daily walk with Him.

I have been blessed with a small, but loving church family that meets my worship needs in so many ways.  I have been given the resources to attend seminars that help me to better understand what being in close communication with God is all about.  But most importantly, I have been given the gift of faith that has helped me to become more like the person God intended me to be.  I only hope that I am able to share with others what He has done for me and perhaps help them in their time of deepest need.  I know that despite of what my emotions might be telling me, despite the outward circumstances I may be facing, that there is a God that will never leave me nor forsake me and that,  my friends, has made all the difference in the world to me.  For that I am most thankful.

David Lee

This entry I’m about to make isn’t one that I’m sure I should post.  I am dealing with a situation in which  someone decided to take his own life.  Given the fact that a family member did the same, I have lots of mixed feelings about what to think about such an act.

No one knows how much pain some one else is feeling in his/her life.  Those people that we think we know the best are the ones that many times are hiding the most.  We all have ways to deal with the difficulties we face and in some cases, those issues can become more than a person is able to handle.

There are many places and people we can turn to for help, but when one is mired in the midst of depressive thoughts, sometimes reaching out for help is the last thing that we’d consider.  The spiral down can go deeper and deeper and if no assistance is sought or given, the results can be devastating.

I won’t attempt to get inside the head of a person that had decided to take his/her life, but I do know that the death has a profound effect on that person’s families for the rest of their lives.  Nothing is quite as horrendous than knowing that someone else we knew didn’t feel like they could turn to us or anyone else for help.

That’s all I have to say about that… Just something it helps to share with others…. I guess the key is to not hesitate asking for help during those times we feel spiraling down in thoughts and feelings,,, Help could be as close as a phone call away.

David Lee

One of the keys to fulfillment in a person’s life is knowing what actions to take and then following through with them.  Our lives are filled each day with decisions we must make and we don’t always have the luxury of a wealth of time to make “best” choices.

There are also times in our lives when we observe  someone else in their own existence and think that we know what’s best for them as well.  Sometimes we keep this to ourselves, but many times we feel obligated to tell them what we think they should do.  Are we playing God in their lives?

Looking back on my own life, I can honestly say that I’ve made some very poor choices.  I suppose I did what I thought was best at the time, but looking back can see the error of my ways.  It’s also  been said that making mistakes for many is the best way to learn valuable lessons.  In that case, each of should be well-versed in important lessons of how to live life.  The bottom line is that I don’t always know what’s best for me.

There then are those times when we see somewhat else in a situation of their own making and we can attempt to change their pathway or offer them kindly advice on what to do. Sometimes they solicit for advice, but then again many times we tell them what we think is best without being consulted.  I have found that is especially true when we think there’s something we can do to help them out of the difficult situation.

But wait a minute, isn’t that what loving people are supposed to do… help other people in their hour of need?  My answer would be yes and no.  Yes, if there is an obvious immediate need, I think it’s great to offer assistance.  But I also need to consider that people need to become adept at figuring out the answers to their own problems without anyone else’s input.  They have their lessons to learn as well.  I recently found some words that express it well:

“Shakespeare said, ‘All the world’s a stage, all the men and women mainly players.’  He forgot to mention that I was the chief critic.  I was always able to see the flaw in every person, every situation.  And I was always glad to point it out, because I knew you wanted perfection just as I did.  There is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of the bad in the best of us; we are all children of God and we each have a right to be here.  When I complain about me or about you, I am complaining about God’s handiwork.  I am saying that I know better than God.”

A.A. Big Book, p. 449.

Many times when I am trying to help someone else, there’s an another motive for wanting to do so.  If they will only do what I say, I stand to benefit something from it.  I’m attempting to manipulate the world so that I have an outcome that is beneficial for all, but most importantly beneficial for myself.  This is an example of self-centered thoughts and actions that are usually not what’s in anyone’s best interest.

That for me is where my faith life comes into play.  I have to know that there is a God watching over all. He helped me and nourished me through the most difficult time in my life, but He is also willing and able to do the same for anyone who asks.  We have to allow others get to the point where they are asking Him for help instead of trying to solve all their problems themselves.

I think we also need to be aware that there are many times when people don’t really want our help anyway. If you’ve been trying to get a relationship or circumstance to go the way you’d like and despite repeated attempts, it’s just not working out, you have to assume that it’s not meant to be the way you want it to be. This lesson is one of the most difficult life has to offer.

Once again, I find someone else’s words that seem to express it best:

“This is how and why of it.  First of all, we had to quit playing God.  It didn’t work.  Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director.  He is the Principal; we are His agents.  He is the Father, and we are His children.  Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.”

AA Big Book, p. 62.

May God be with us all this day and lead us to do those things that He would have us to do in His name.  Give us the guidance, wisdom, and strength to carry out Your will.  But above all else, help us to understand that sometimes the best thing we can to do help someone else is nothing at all.

David Lee

I recently was looking for a quote to use as my Facebook status message.  I came upon an email that I had gotten and found one that make me think a lot about life as we live it.

“Life is like a library owned by an author. In it are a few books, which he wrote himself, but most of them were written for him.” –Harry Emerson Fosdick

At first I thought it was just a neat way to think about the way our lives unfold, but then later on in the day, I read another book that approached life in a similar fashion.

“What if I actually am a character in a story?  In one way, I already know that I am.  If you were to ask my parents about me, you would have definite confirmation that I am indeed a character in many stories – only the stories happen to be theirs.  Likewise, ask my friends, my clients, my co-workers – they’ll all tell stories about me.”  – Robert P. Hopcke in his book “There Are No Accidents.”

So as I consider my initial thought, are our lives simply stories?  And if so, are we the ones that determine the other characters, settings, plot lines, and so forth?  Interesting thoughts to consider here on a Sunday afternoon.

I know I like to think I have some say-s0 with the events that occur in my life.  The clothes I wear, the car I drive, the places I go, are all a part of what I think are conscious choices on my part.  But then there are those times when I consider that the story line I’m following is not of my own making.  It’s as if someone else has scripted the lines and left just enough room for me to improvise and make only subtle changes in the resulting events.

Just as an example:  If you had told me ten years ago that I would be divorced, living on my own, teaching at the school I’m now employed, and reading and writing like there’s no tomorrow, I would have questioned your sanity.  Yet here in the year 2009 that’s exactly what I find myself doing.  Were there any things about the story that’s unfolded over the past seven and a half years that I could have changed?  Were there parts of my life that I had no control over what so ever?  All interesting thoughts to consider.

A big part of the answer to these questions for me come from the fact that I believe in a Higher Power whom I choose to call God.  I believe He has a divine plan for my life and puts people in my life and sends me places where I need to do those things to fulfill his will for my life.  Yes, there are many more trivial things that I do have control over, but many times they are truly inconsequential to the bigger picture of what my life’s all about.

I also know that God is aware of what events are going to transpire in our future and what we’ll need to be sustained and survived.  It’s like our pathways are mainly directed by an entity other than ourselves and we are just adding touches here and there to make it more personal.

So no, I don’t think anything happens by mistake.  I am a character in a story of so many other people’s lives and in each play an entirely different role than my story would have me to believe.  My faith tells me that regardless of the circumstances, God is always present and will never abandon me nor deceive me.  It’s a calming thought, whether my life is a story or not, that it’s all ultimately in His hands.

David Lee

Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in all the hustle and bustle of life and forget to stop and smell the roses from time-to-time.  Of course for a lot of people those times are few and far between.

I have a bit of time before I go to the radio station, so I thought I would write a few words to put into print some of the random thoughts I have from time-to-time.

1.  There are so many things we take forgranted in our lives – I know just being able to wake up each morning and get out of bed is some I don’t take into account most days.  I guess the closest I come to that is when I’m sick and don’t really feel like getting out of bed, but in such a case that’s a choice and not a condition.  I’m glad that I have mobility to get around.

2.  There are sometimes in my day when I just need to stop what I’m doing and start the day over again – I know I’ve found myself frustrated for one reason or another and have to pause for a brief respite.  Working with teenagers all day can be gratifying, but can also test the limits of one’s nerves.  I sometimes need to say to myself, “David, this day has gotten to the point where it really blows… You need to pretend that you are starting your day over and see if things improve as the day goes on.”  Seems like that works most of the time and keeps me from being at wit’s end.

3. It’s a bit unusual when you’re experiencing feelings you haven’t had in a long while – Many times we can get bogged down in the mundane happenings in life and become somewhat shielded from our true emotions.  I recently found myself with feelings that I haven’t had in quite a while.  The feelings were joyous and that was a wonderful thing.  But at the same time, we can experience so of the more unpleasant emotions of our past.  I need to make sure that I’m not living the present based on what I’ve experienced in the past, at least when it comes to those less-than-pleasant emotions.

4.  Sometimes you can try to relate to someone’s problems, but unless you’ve experienced that problem or a similar one, it’s not easy to truly understand. There are many things we can to do help our fellow human beings and one of those things is to listen to them talk.  We can offer our experience strength hope and give them a shoulder to lean on in difficult times.  But unless you’ve been to that same place they’re at, it may be next to impossible to truly understand.  That’s one of the beautiful things about support groups that bring together those that have gone through like experiences.  No one can understand another’s pain better than someone that was in that same situation themselves.  From alcohol and drug abuse to spousal abuse, support groups can provide an invaluable foundation for healing and growth.

There are several poems that I have read over the past several years that have struck a special place in my heart.  I thought it might be nice to share one or more of these with you to see if there is something you can gain from them as well.

You are who you are for a reason….
by *Russell Kelfer
(*Opens in New Window)

You are who you are for a reason.
You’re part of an intricate plan.
You’re a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God’s special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb.
You’re just what He wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones He chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God’s plan in mind,
And they bear the Master’s seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into His likeness you’d grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You’ve been formed by the Master’s rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!

There are several poems that I have read over the past several years that have struck a special place in my heart.  I thought it might be nice to share one or more of these with you to see if there is something you can gain from them as well.

I have been through the valley of weeping,

The valley of sorrow and pain;

But the “God of all comfort” was with me,

At hand to uphold and sustain.

As the earth needs the clouds and the sunshine,

Our souls need both sorrow and joy;

So he places us oft in the furnace,

The dross from the gold to destroy.

When He leads through some valley of trouble,

His omnipotent hand we trace;

For the trials and sorrows He sends us,

Are part of His lessons in grace.

Oft we shrink from the purging and pruning,

Forgetting the gardener knows;

That the deeper the cutting and paring,

The richer the cluster that grows.

Well He knows that affliction is needed;

He has a wise purpose in view;

And in the dark valley He whispers,

“Hereafter you’ll know what I do.”

As we travel through life’s shadowed valley,

Fresh springs of His love ever rise;

And we learn that our sorrows and losses,

Are blessings just sent in disguise.

So we’ll follow wherever He leadeth,

Let the path be dreary or bright;

For we’ve proved that our God can give comfort;

Our God can give songs in the night.

Found in devotional “Streams in the Desert,” entry for August 9, a date that holds special meaning for me.

Zondervan Publishing, 1996.

Ryan Succop, a Hickory High School grad, was the last player picked in last year’s N.F.L. draft.  He not only won a spot on the Chief’s roster, but became their starting placekicker.

His stats thus far:

Succop is 9 out of 10 on field goals, with his longest coming from 53 yards.

He is a perfect 9 of 9 on extra point attempts.

He has scored 36 points in all.

Ryan’s best performance by far was against the Washington Redskins, where he kicked 4 of 4 FG attempts in KC’s 14-9 win.  Pictured below is Ryan after one of those four kicks.

[picapp src=”6/5/d/a/Redskins_vs_Chiefs_de14.JPG?adImageId=6404934&imageId=6851134″ width=”500″ height=”765″ /]

What’s Next ??

The most obvious question people will ask when I tell of my retirement plans is, “Well, what are you going to do after you retire?”  I would say that a simple question, to which there are no simple answers.  Here is a list of possibilities, in no particular order.

1.  Nothing – This option, at least at first,  is tempting.  But I also realize I’m still just fifty years old and there’s hopefully much more life in front of me.  I think in order to keep my mind working properly, I really don’t need to lean towards this plan.

2.  Substitute Teach – There’s always a need for good substitute teachers and no lack of days to be filled.  I wouldn’t be responsible for all the lesson planning and grading of papers, but once again I would be in school, which is one of the things I’m thinking of steering away from after my last teaching days.

3.  Teach at a community college – I have previously taught math at CVCC.  The pay is good and although there are not benefits, I really wouldn’t need any.  One of the best things about state retirement is that you get to keep your health insurance.  Teaching adults can be easier in some respects, but once again, I would be back in a school setting.

4.  Go to graduate school – Appalachian State offers a Master’s Degree in Counseling and Addictions Counseling.  I have previously looked into these programs enough to know that my current M.A. would alleviate some of the coursework I would have to take.  I’m not 100% sure counseling is what I’d really like to do and once again, I’d be back in the school setting, at least for a while.  It would be sort of neat to be a college student again.

5. Get a job in the private sector – Something tells me that I’d like a job in which I’m just responsible for me, myself, and I.  Not in charge of thirty-some teens and their raging hormones,,,, not responsible for keeping up with a plethora of paperwork… not having to bring work home.  I don’t know exactly what I’d like to do, but there are many options.  I do know that with the economy the way it is, there may be some limitations with this choice.

Regardless of which choice I finally end up making, I once again trust in the God of my understanding to keep me headed in the right direction.  At the point-in-time when there’s a decision to be made, I’m sure I’ll know what He wants me to do and if not, I know there’s no harm in waiting to find out.

“Trust in the Lord with your whole heart; do not depend on  your own understanding.  Seek His will in all you do and He will direct your paths.” – Proverbs 3:5-6

David Lee

Deciding When It’s Time to Say Good-Bye

In the decision I’ve made to retire at the end of the current school year, there are many factors that play a part.  I’ll make a list and to the best of my ability tell what my thinking is in each case.

1.)  I’ve gotten enough years of service and with additional sick days, am eligible to retire…. – I think there’s a reason why the thirty year mark is there.  Not that there aren’t quality teachers that stay around longer than that, but I feel it’s there for a reason.  If I count my years as a student, I’ve been in school for forty-four of my fifty years.  I think I’m ready to graduate!

2.)  Over the past several years it’s become more difficult to be physically and mentally sharp enough to continue teaching at a quality level of performance…. – We’re all getting older, that’s a fact of life.  Our physical selves aren’t able to do some of the things we once were.  Our mental processes slow from what they once were.  I still feel well and I think I’m of a sane mind (at least most days), but I’ve noticed it takes a bit longer to do things and remembering things is not as easy as it once was for me.  I think my patience with things I don’t have any control over has shortened somewhat as well.

3.) I enjoy what I do, but don’t want to let it get to the point where I hate my job.,,, So much has changed about the teaching profession over the years, especially the last several.  It seems that teachers are responsible for more and more and aren’t given any additional hours in the day to take care of all that needs to be done.  And while I think many administrators have a good idea of what it’s like in the classroom, when edicts come down from on high to do this and to do that on top of everything else we’ve been doing, it gets to be a bit much.  It’s a little different to sit in an office somewhere and make choices about what teachers should do, but yet another thing to be in their shoes and actually have to carry those plans out.

I see more and more outside interference in what I do in my day-to-day teaching.  After twenty-eight years, I’m still being told specifics on what I should or should not be doing in my daily lessons.  Not that I don’t appreciate the advice, but I would like to think my years of experience stand for something.  Give me some choices, but don’t micro-manage what I’m doing each day to the point I have to delete some strategies that I know work for me.

4.) I trust my intuition and it’s telling me it’s time to go… – I sometimes kid with people that of all the classrooms in the school, mine’s the one closest to the parking lot.  And before you say, “He’s just saying that,” please know that I look for signs that are pointing me in the direction to take.

I have a determined faith in God and when I feel he’s leading me to do something, I’m likely to take that lead.  I pray each day and ask God to give me a clean heart and a clear mind to do those things He would have me to do.  And if this is what my mind’s telling me on a consistent basis, then I’m going to follow that lead.  I truly think there are other things that He would like me to be doing with my life at this point in time.  And this reason, above all others, is why I’ve made the decision I’ve made.

“Trust in the Lord with your whole heart; do not depend on  your own understanding.  Seek His will in all you do and He will direct your paths.” – Proverbs 3:5-6

David Lee