Language of Letting Go for March 27…

After-Burn

How could I do it? How could I say it? Even though I meant it, I still feel ashamed, guilty, and afraid.

This is common reaction to new, exciting recovery behaviors. Anything to do with owning our power and taking care of ourselves can trigger feelings of shame, guilt, and fear.

We do not have to allow these feelings to control us. They’re a backlash. They’re after-burn. Let them burn out.

When we start confronting and attacking feelings and messages, we will experience some after-burn. The after-burn is what we allowed to control us all our life — shame and guilt.

Many of us grew up with shame-based messages that it wasn’t okay to take care of ourselves, be honest, be direct, and own our power with people. Many of us grew up with messages that it wasn’t okay to be who we were and resolve problems in relationships. Many of us grew up with the message that what we want and need isn’t okay.

Let it all burn off. We don’t have to take after-burn so seriously. We don’t let the after-burn convince us that we are wrong and don’t have a right to take care of ourselves and set boundaries.

Do we really have the right to take care of ourselves? Do we really have the right to set boundaries? Do we really have the right to be direct and say what we need to say?

You bet we do.

Today, I will let any after-burn which sets in after I practice a new recovery behavior, burn off. I will not take it so seriously. God, help me let go of my shame and needless fears about what will happen to me if I really start caring for and loving myself.

 

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

Meditation and Prayer for the Day…March 27

Meditation for the Day

The power of God’s spirit is the greatest power in the universe. Our conquest of each other, the great kings and conquerors, the conquest of wealth, the leaders of the money society, all amount to very little in the end. But he who conquers himself is greater than he who conquers a city. Material things have no permanence. But God’s spirit is eternal. Everything really worthwhile in the world is the result of the power of God’s spirit.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may open myself to the power of God’s spirit. I pray that my relationships with others may be improved by this spirit.

 

From Twenty-Four Hours a Day

The Shadow Queen – #16

16-Shadow-Queen-r

 

#16 – THE SHADOW QUEEN

ACQUIRING KNOWLEDGE, INSECURITY, MANIPULATION

CHALLENGER

The Shadow Queen gently asks you to address your innermost character flaws with compassion, for now it’s time to bring your wounded self and hidden agendas into the light. You’re seeing the tangible results of those aspects of your nature that have evolved in response to the difficulties in your life: they’ve been a means to help you survive Perhaps you’re falling prey to insecurity masked as elitism and arrogance, believing that you know best; to comparing yourself with others; or to being fearful and self-sabotaging. You may have been taught that manipulating others rather than being direct is the way to get your needs met. The Shadow Queen reminds you that manipulation in any form isn’t the best method of getting what you want. Another meaning that can also apply is the possibility that you’re being affected by someone else’s wounded self. Perhaps you are the one being manipulated. Whatever the case, it’s time to take a fearless personal inventory and observe what part you play in the dramas and potential disasters in your life. When you come to the place of humility, forgiveness, and grace, then you may proceed again and walk into the Light. There is great value and strength in facing your own shadow in the realm of the Shadow Queen.

Random Musings on a Saturday Afternoon….

It’s a quiet Saturday afternoon and there’s a lull in anything I want to do around the house, so I thought I’d write a bit.

A lot has been going through my mind here of late.  As a retired teacher and although I still work about three to four days per week, there are those times when I’m at a loss as to what to do.

There’s always work to be done around the house….I only wish that was something I enjoyed doing.  I have several projects underway and suppose the next rainy day I’ll pick on of those to work on.   But on afternoons like this afternoon, that’s not something that motivates me.

Turning your will and your life over the care of God is something I’ve been pondering on as well.  I’ve tried to stay on an even keel and not go doing anything too out of line for me, but there are those times when I think I need to try something new.

I went this morning to get a bite to eat and then went to the park at the lake and did some writing…took some pictures….but those are things I’m used to doing.  At least I do enjoy them still.

Tonight I’ll be going to the local coffee shop to their open mic event…I’ll take my camera along and take pictures as I normally do for their monthly event.  I’ll see some friends I’ve not seen in a while and who knows, perhaps even meet someone new.

So that’s what’s on my mind for this lazy afternoon.  I realize I may just be writing this to myself since my viewership has one again hit a lull….but that’s OK as well…not in my control

David Lee

Second Free-Lance Photography Assignment Completed…

Last night was my second night of doing photography as a free lance for the local newspaper.  I once again was able to get my quota of pictures, even though it took a bit longer than last time out.

One of the first venues I went to was quite crowded and I got an abundance of good shots.  There was also a group of friends eating there and I stopped to chat with them for a while.  The weather was a bit more cooperative, so the second venue I went to had outside diners.  It was nice to get a “different” kind of picture and they were more than cooperative.

One of the spots that I went to last week was pretty dead, so I skipped over it and went to the next.  I once again saw some friends there and I as I continued to take pictures, had some good conversation as well.  I even stopped by the local theater and even though I didn’t get but a couple of pictures, it was the first “new” place I had encountered.  I did see a family making use of the new downtown playground, but they weren’t comfortable with me taking their pictures, so again I hit the trail.

I went to another restaurant in the uptown area and got some shots and then got in the car and headed for another section of town.  I started out with one of the places I had visited last week and then tried three locations I hadn’t been to last week. I got some good results from those venues as well.  I found that people are less likely to want their picture taken if the place I’m at is primarily just a “bar” and not a restaurant.  Duly noted for next visit….

I will say there was one place I visited, which shall remain unnamed, in which I didn’t feel comfortable taking any pictures.  Any of the pics I would have gotten there wouldn’t have been suitable for publication.  I’ll just leave it at that.

I did have a bit of a problem with the newspaper computer this morning.  It had been “locked” by one of the full time photographers and I couldn’t access the folder that I used to upload the pictures I had taken. Luckily, there was a reporter there who had the phone number of the photographer and I was able to get it unlocked and upload the pictures without any problems.

So the second week completed, I was able to say it was another job well-done.  I had gotten a nice text from the editor earlier in the day stating that they had gotten quite a few more hits on their webpage due to last week’s pictures and that quite a few people had seen them via social media as well.  So all-in-all, a good first two weeks at the job.

David Lee